I welcome you all to another wonderful edition of the Thrill’s Quiz Corner, the premier destination to help understand things about your Kenyon experience that you just can’t quite process right.

Related to that is today’s topic which broaches the questions of whether you should drop out of school entirely or whether you might just be a little bit tired. This is the question that plagues the weary minds of the students who aimlessly walk around early on Tuesday afternoons and ponder this enormously important decision. That’s why we’re here. To help you make this life-altering choice, please consider taking the short questionnaire below.

Question 1: When you’re able to get some sleep, what do you dream of?

A: Mostly I have Inception-esque dreams about how sleepy I am on a daily basis.

B: I have frequent dreams of driving away and going “somewhere else”

Question 2: When your mind wanders in class, where does it wander to?

A: All function in my brain ceases as I ascend to the “tesseract dimension” and the minutes tick by like hours.

B: I think about how fun it would be to be in another United State.

Question 3: How much sleep did you get last night?

A: I slept from 2-5 AM, and will hopefully sleep again from 2-5 PM, thus achieving the coveted “palindrome nap” and becoming the nocturnal animal I’ve always wanted to be.

B: I spent a long, sleepless night Googling things like “Kenyon College dropout rate,” “quiz: do you want to drop out or are you a little bit tired,” and “Rihanna cheers lyrics.”

Question 4: If your friend walked up and asked how you were doing, what would your response be?

A: “I’m just doing OK, although if I had to say something, I guess I would say I’m a little bit tired.”

B: “What did you say? I wasn’t paying attention. Unrelated, but I think I might drop out.”

Results:

If you picked mostly As, good news! You might just be a little bit tired. Before you drop out, maybe pop a couple melatonins and see if you can’t rest up.

If you picked mostly Bs, uh-oh. Are you doing alright? Maybe you feel like you want to drop out. Consider your options. Maybe you don’t! This decision is on you. I’m just an AI trained to sift through the Thrill archives in the hopes of creating perfectly-crafted Kenyon Content :)