Welcome to the 18th edition of ‘Gambier Ink!’ I decided to bring this feature into 2020 with a bit of a flare. I asked a few first-years about their tattoos and their possible significance. Completely by accident, I actually made a great argument for why 18 year olds should not have the ability to put permanent ink on their bodies. **Content warning: 3 out of the 4 of these tattoos are feet tats (completely accidental, I swear)… Forgive the borderline pornographic and obscene images I have attached.
Nicky Beaumont ’23
“I got my feet tattoos the day of my 19th birthday at Hard Knox Tattoo Shop in Mount Vernon, Ohio. I got a dolphin and a carton of milk – *Takes a fat juul rip* because in sixth grade I wrote a song called “Dolphin Milk.” When Columbia Records signed me to be a part of their team they said it was a mix of Diana Ross and Queen Elizabeth II. It all started when I was on the bus on my way to a new school and I thought: ‘I should write a song.’ And so I thought: ‘Dolphin Milk… it makes your hair shine.’ The song went like:
I walked down the street like a bossssss,
Girls come up to me and ask me: how do you get your hair so slick?
I answer BUMbaddahbumBUmbumbum Dolphin Milk!
BumbadumbadumBumbaddahdumbum Dolphin Milk!
And it is essentially three more verses of that.
I would say I will look at these when I am thirty and regret them immediately. For placement, I chose the feet because at the time I was sexting with a 60 year old man who had a really uh deep and sad-rooted liking to feet and I got them because he said he would Venmo me 5,000 dollars for it. Jonathan, if you are reading this I’m still waiting for my Venmo…it has changed to @thepussycatdolls. I’m actually freaking out the tattoos are not going away.”
Maia Cornish-Keefe ’23
“I saw a stamp of a strawberry in my house and was like ‘that’s cute.’ I like strawberries…I mean they’re okay… This is not a feet tat by the way, this is an upper ANKLE tattoo…I don’t know why I chose that spot. I will never regret it though. #NoRegrets.”
Zoë ’23 *
“I was 16 years old and I was being stupid and I decided, ‘hey, wouldn’t it be super fun for my male friend to meet me in a park at 7pm and stick needles in me until I have the most regrettable tattoo the world’s ever seen?’ Going into this experience, I didn’t know what I wanted and came up with the idea right then and there. Very spur of the moment…but yeah I regret it deeply.”
*Zoë has chosen to remain anonymous at this time. Now you first-years won’t be able to look at that Zoë in your econ class the same! Who is mysterious Zoë with the prison tat? Ha! That’s right! Go speculate!
Me (Maya) ’23
I had to include myself if we are talking about questionable first-year tattoos…or feet tats? This fits into both categories, unfortunately. Just know I am totally ruining the chances of getting a summer job with Seeking Arrangements by releasing this photo. Anyway, storytime:
When I was 216 months old, my friends and I one day decided to go to a tattoo parlor. We had thought about going for some time but didn’t know what we would get. It just had to have meaning, ya know? There is no way I would put something basic or a design I randomly found on Pinterest on my body forever. No way! (This is ironic because I got two more tattoos and did just that.) So one hot summer July day, my three friends and I visited a tattoo parlor. Now, what did I decide to get for my first tattoo? I decided as I entered the doors of the shop. Let me preface with the fact that I was totally freaking out and nerves clouded my judgment…I think. I decided to get the most artistic, original and beautiful design I could think of at that very moment. I decided to get a wave. I have a wave permanently tattooed on my foot to remind me that ‘I like water.’ Last time I checked, water is a basic necessity every human needs to survive. Everyone likes water. And literally when the man permanently inking this into my body asked me what it meant to me, I nervously choked out the words: “I like water.” That really came out of my mouth. But like no regrets I guess. I could be a cute cougar one day with that tat. Just wait.