I am old. I lay in bed, contemplating my life, thinking about my regrets, resigned to never being able to fix them. It feels like an eternity since I first arrived at Kenyon College, but also a mere blink of an eye. The young, vivacious, glowing boy I was two years ago barely resembles the frail, decrepit husk of a slightly older boy I am today. Naturally, given all the time I have alone with my thoughts these days I choose to dwell on my regrets.
- My Hearty Constitution: Back in the days of living in McBride, my body could power through any obstacle it faced. My diet then would have killed ten of me today. My greasy aura was a powerful shield through which no injury or sickness could pass. I now have back pain and get grumpy if I don’t eat dinner at 6 o’clock.
- My Naivete Of Inter-Organization Politics: So, I definitely didn’t expect this to ever come into play in my life, but scheduling disputes between student organizations have been the biggest source of ruined friendships I’ve ever seen. If only I could go back to a time when I didn’t know about the contentious political landscape of the Horn Gallery.
- Having An Excuse For Not Knowing Where Buildings Are: As many do, I’ve found myself in a particular academic niche during my time at school. So, when I get asked ridiculous questions like “where is Seitz House?” my only response is to scoff. How should I know? I’ve only been to three buildings in the past year. At least little freshman me had an excuse.
- Putting Effort Into My Appearance: Unfortunately the days of me caring about how the world perceives me are in the past. I have not thought about my appearance in many months, and I’m worried at this point that I’ve forgotten what a person should wear in polite society. Alas I have no more need for such trivialities. I’m only seen by the world when I deign to descend from the bell tower where I wallow the days away.
- Getting To Attend Real Live School: Remember that? What a time. I look forward to my zoom class sessions every day because they’re the only time I get to see another human’s face. And it’s worth it every time.