Redesigning Kenyon Culture Because I’m an Upperclassmen on Campus by Default

Awkward :/ Sophomores are upperclassmen now and there’s no one to tell the new guys what’s what!

Tragically because of “you know what”, the class of 2023 had to leave campus just as they were getting to know the ins and outs of life at Kenyon. The first years are probably all messed up with no older people around to teach them how to pronounce “BFEC” or “Kenyon”!

My pitch: we should take advantage of this and completely revamp Kenyon culture as we know it. Here are my new ideas for new rumors to spread to absolutely redefine reality at Kenyon:

  • Acapella is being replaced with fishing as Kenyon’s “most notable past time”
  • John Green did not actually go here, he just hung out in the area a lot
  • BFEC stands for Big Fun Egg Cracking and it is the event of the year!
  • Taller kids sit on new side, shorter kids sit on old side, and everyone “in the middle” based on the height sign at the front of peirce sits in the pub. This is the way it’s always been done.

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