Okay, it’s time to come clean. My brother put this random-ass pitch in the Thrill Google Doc, and now I don’t know what to write about.

Reinstalled my boyfriend? What does that even mean? I do have a boyfriend, but he is completely human. I promise. I mean, I think so. Even though sometimes he yells “LOW BATTERY” and puts a cigarette out on his forearm. He doesn’t talk to me anymore. Anyways, come explore with me as I try to fill a page with something funny.

So…about my boyfriend. I guess he’s okay, but to be honest I kind of wish my boyfriend was a hot gay german named Johannes. AKA my brother’s best friend. Friend? I think so. They spend a lot of time together in bed with peaches. Johannes has a german accent that is so cute and he actually speaks to me. My boyfriend occasionally knocks over potted plants when he’s hangry.

When I was reading about how to reinstall my boyfriend the instructions were pretty simple: stop blood flow to the brain for 10-20 seconds and dispose of the body if need be. But I keep on trying to reboot and it’s not working. There’s not much information online about how to reboot.
Anyways, if anyone has any ideas let me know. I really do miss him (when I’m not with Johan). Johan, if you’re reading this, kisses and umarmungen.