Unfortunately, I’ve never had much luck in the way of teeth. My mouth is a wonderland of holes and misplaced protrusions. But one mystery in particular has been a source of ire for me, which is how I’m missing my left maxillary lateral incisor. I got no tooth there.

After all my baby teeth fell out and adult teeth grew in, one tooth just refused to show, so now I’ve got this hole in my front teeth that needs to be filled in. But where is it? Where did it go? I refuse to believe that it’s a “fairly common” mutation, I believe it was stolen from me. How? Who knows. But, suspiciously, my sister was born with one extra tooth than is normal.

For this reason I am putting an APB out on my missing tooth. If you have any information on this subject please contact me. I really want my tooth back.