Do Not Do That, First Years

unless you can commit to doing so safely <3 a note from the lesser of the two sports bands

Hello! It’s me, Reilly, a Kenyon senior who has dreamed of attending our dear school on a hill for nearly a decade now. While that dream so magically came true, I am not able to do so in Gambier at the moment because of the ongoing pandemic. And that’s okay! I get it–– we are all making sacrifices right now, and I am grateful to have my health. However, some rumors have been swirling about first year’s antics, and these stories have gotten all the way to the crusty and jaded seniors off campus. So, just in the spirit of building community even from far away, I have a note for these first years:

I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO GO BACK NEXT SEMESTER. AND THIS REQUIRES

THE FRESHMEN WHO ARE SNUGGLING UP WITH SEVENTY OF THEIR CLOSEST PEERS SANS MASKS TO FUCKING STOP.

I know what you are feeling, first years. Being at college for the first time is weird and nerve wracking and sometimes lonely, now more than ever. However, tales of your antics get back to all of us upperclassmen– whose lives are pretty centered around our school and the people who are there with us. It is selfish not only to us but to the community at large to have ~ big cool chill kickbacks ~. I know many of you have made huge strides and sacrificed big parts of your first year at college– I totally hear that. It is really impressive that we haven’t truly even had a case on campus. That’s so awesome. However, please tell your peers that now is not the time for a big sweaty party. The remote students wish we could be at big sweaty parties, too. But we can’t– so we ask that you don’t either.

Surprisingly, rules apply to you even if you don’t like them. We had our school yanked away from us, and you have a duty as community members to make sure we can finish our final year at our dear college safely.

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