Happy Halloweek! ‘Tis the season for inappropriate screenings of Michael Jackson’s music video for his poorly-aged classic “Thriller” and Instagram feeds clogged with images of two blondes wearing a scrap of cloth that reads “No Laws.” God, what a time to be alive. Well, I hate to break it to you, but things are going to be a bit different this year. We have masks! So now, as you contemplate how you are going to be the cast of Scooby Doo with your 5 person co-ed friend group, I have brainstormed a few ways we can dress pandemic-friendly.
- Playboy Bunny
Okay, hear me out of this one. The Playboy Bunny costume is an important slutty moment for any female as she enters adolescence and why should a pandemic take that away from her?
Dress as you would. Leotard, bunny tail and all. Then, wear a mask. Not only do you seem slutty, you seem respectful of a pandemic, and what could be hotter?
I feel pretty good about this one. Just throw a sheet over your entire body and carve eye holes. Boom, full body mask. Playful and fun. No sex appeal though, womp womp. Unless?
- Walmart Cashier
Invest in a cobalt apron, Timberland knock-offs and of course, a mask. Not fully on though. You want the mask to hang visibly and comfortably under your nose. I appreciate this option because of its breathability. You can speak loudly and slowly allow it to slip down to touch your upper lip as you talk. For legal reasons, I encourage you to wear two masks, one on top of the other.
- Spring Breakers!
Everyone knows the classic film, Spring Breakers starring Oscar nominated actress Selena Gomez. If you are on a tight budget, this may be the costume for you. Clothing is minimal. All you need is a bikini and a mask. How convenient. Also, how ironic since no one had a true spring break so they will find your costume ironic and nostalgic.
- Nacho Libre
I heavily encourage this one. Not only for its originality and comedic factor, but this costume legitimately requires a mask. Plus a bald cap and a red cape. You are bound to be the life of the party. Well, not party. You’ll be the life of your quaint apartment gathering or drunk night walk along Gaskin.
Whether you will be blacking out in your parent’s basement or fermenting jungle juice in a Caples suite with 3 of your closest first-year roommates, power to you this Halloween.