Hello, Gambier! Remember us? We moved out two weeks ago and you seem to have forgotten us. Plan Ahead put us all on the naughty list, and we’re settling back into the bedrooms our parents made into storage spaces for yarn and the YA fiction of yesteryear. It feels like yesterday that we were parading around Gund Commons, printing out our silly little English 103 readings and gossiping about how the silly little lacrosse team made the couches into their NCA (something that Gommons simply isn’t).
Needless to say, when we got the email that told us that because half of us nimrods are taking Quest, Kenyon thought it would be cool to make us go remote after our first taste of freedom from our hometowns, we were less than enthused. So we retired to our childhood bedrooms/storage spaces. Can we even say “my childhood bedroom” if we were only gone 3 months? Did our dreamscapes invent Gambier? It’s okay, because we know that the queen of detachment from reality and bathing in sorrow on purpose, Phoebe Bridgers, has our backs. This is what she would croon to us to make us feel better about spending the next eight months separated from America’s playground, Gambier, Ohio.
The Kenyon Thrill 
youll be okay <3
get over it :)
Anyone But Me! by anonymous
Walking middle path, feeling so ungrateful
Those plastic bags are far too wasteful
As a Lady/Lord with full room and board
I must fight for my right with shield and sword
K card limit, woe is me
But daddy don’t do charity
Mom! Pierce is gross, so I won’t dine
Chilitos chills go down my spine
Woe is me, woe is me
My parents pay, so to me it’s free
Highschool calc I barely passed
Six months later I’m done with math
Lucky I could pay my way
Silly admin they can kiss my ass
In politics I know how to smirk
But good and evil? How things work?
How maintenance gets paid? How Nancy stays?
And how professors keep their 401ks?
Shame is beside the point
Unless I’m asking your point of view
Anyway, don’t let schadenfreude get the better of you
If there was a button to switch places, I would push it
If you want to pay less, going in-state is always an option :)
P.S. How are your friends from Chapin?
imagine acting like ur not just as privileged lmao you rlly woke up and chose violence huh. shameful bruh give the girl a break
omg
ppl r mean for no reason. if you’re from LA/NYC and wear carhartt and levis 24/7 you have no room to talk and u know it. literally so shameful being so mean to the writer for no reason