Let’s be honest. The Thrill is the best of the best. Sometimes, I feel like I don’t belong, and that we have different tastes in humor.
For example, “Do I have to Meet With My Advisor” was one of those last minute pitches that I put on The Thrill’s google doc because I was lazy and thought they would pick something better like “How do I get my mom to stop texting me” or “Ten Pirate puns that’ll tickle your timbers” or my favorite, “Reasons why you should continue to socially distance even after Corona.”
But The Thrill thought this pitch was funny, even though I didn’t. There’s only one way to see who’s right.
I’m going to write two mini-articles. One of them is the prompt The Thrill gave me, and the other one is an article that I wanted to write. The Thrill wouldn’t let me publish a more mature, academic study, so I took matters into my own hands. Comment below on which one is your favorite for a chance to win NOTHING. I’m broke.
ARTICLE #1 (Thrill Article) : Do I Really Have To Meet With My Advisor?
My advisor is kind, smart, and all the good words. But, do I have to meet with him? It’s not that he accidentally ended our previous zoom call saying “Love you” or sometimes he tells me I remind him of his son. It’s that right now he doesn’t know I’m a bad student. He doesn’t know that I’m registered for trombone lessons and nothing else, or that right now I’m living in the vegetarian section of Peirce.
ARTICLE #2 (Mine): An Exciting Discovery!
The following is all scientifically correct. Seriously, look it up. Now I’m sure you’ve all heard about the scientific phenomenon of Black Holes, but have you ever heard of the wonders of White Holes? It is assumed that White Holes are the entrance to another universe. Much like their counterparts, scientists have determined that it is impossible to get inside of them. For decades, scientists have been wondering; what can White Holes do? What do White Holes really look like? Now, their questions have finally been answered. A new study by the Copenhagen Institute of Physics and General Relativity has revealed that White Holes have the ability to bend, manipulate, and expand physical objects, and in doing so expel large amounts of energy from their origin. Unfortunately, physicists have been unable to locate the exact point of origin that would release such energy, yet according to their mathematics, such a place does exist. Furthermore, scientists even speculate about the existence of supermassive White Holes, which would have the ability to swallow multiple galaxies into their vast gravitational pull.