Kenyon-Inspired Pickup Lines

IT’S HAPPENING! You’re standing in line, awaiting your tofu at Peirce, and you see that person. The total cutie from your anthropology class who you’ve been admiring through Zoom. Valentine’s Day is coming up, and it would be the perfect time to ask about going on a date. Some coffee from Wiggin’s, a sunrise hike at the BFEC… You can see it all now. All you need is a quick, witty line to achieve it. Look no further, as I’ve supplied you with all you need here. You’ll thank me later. 

Let’s get all Liberal Arts minus being a creepy older man

I’d go all the way up to Caples 9 for you

I think you’re even cuter than Mochi

You make my heart beat faster than Wiggin’s espresso can

Are we at the Kenyon Farm right now? Because you’re the GOAT

If I were the Pierce seal, I’d totally let you step on me

Do you work for Helpline? Because I need help installing a direct line to your heart

I’d always enter the Gates of Hell on the same side as you 

Are you Old Kenyon in 1949? Because you’re burning up  

I wish I were your KCard so I could have your digits 

If I were Moxie, I wouldn’t run away from you 

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