Welcome to The News! Here’s the breakdown of the second impeachment trial of 44th president, Donald J. Trump:

• Basically, Mr. Donald DRUMPF is no longer allowed in my house, thanks to the decision of the United States government!
• For those who don’t remember: FORMER President CHEETO made a YUUUUGE social faux pas at my gala last year…NOT classy. We are not friends, nor have we ever been, but this was the last straw!
• The US Senate impeached the former president FIRST for his sloppiness, but now he is being tried for his cringe factor
• The president’s legal team said “Okay, so you want to do impeachment? No can do, fellas! You guys are just jealous cuz Mr. Trump is soooo cute:)”
• The Senate said “let’s actually grab some COVFEFE and keep this thing rolling.” It was 56-44 vote to continue aaand 17 more republican senators would need to vote to impeach for it to go through, so it’s all really up in the air right now, idrk. You make the call.
• All media have declared that the Kenyon Thrill is “really giving it to Donald J. Trump”