Since its inception at the end of February, @kenyonkrushes has received a total of fifteen posts comparing members of the community to Christian Bale.

Yet the more I laugh…the more I swoon for the truth.

Christian Bale is not the first person I think of when I picture an idealized celebrity specimen. But a quick Google search seemed to suggest that maybe we’re all sleeping on this opportunity.

What is it about Christian Bale that has so completely enraptured the fascination of the Kenyon student body? Is it our collective attraction to skill? Is it our collective attraction to psychopathy? Is it that he can play to all tastes (ie, look like both a poli-sci major and a PEEP; see figures 4-5 below)?

fig. 4-5, above

While it may have started out as a bit, I think the Kenyon student body may have found the normcore hero we need (and probably don’t deserve). And I haven’t even TOUCHED the final reason why young Christian Bale is definitively, objectively hot:

He was the original Newsie.

And if there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s our collective attraction to Newsies. (Right?)

So keep tooting your horns, young Christian Bale fans. I think you’ve got real style.