Believe me, we are all sympathetic to the way isolation can mess with your psyche. All sorts of human communication seems foreign. And without the sometimes necessary and always humbling experience of interacting in person, all hell can break loose when the internet becomes our main area of socializing. Forget about wondering if your jokes land or if your personality charms in a real-time moment. From behind a screen, you can fabricate whoever you want to be! But does that mean you should? Take this quiz to find out.
- During the height of stay at home orders, many of us swallowed our pride and downloaded Tik Tok. The bravest (or perhaps most down-trodden?) among us even created our own content. What type of Tik Toks did YOU make? A. Daily vlogs of my quarantine, complete with tie-dye sweatsuit OOTDs. And don’t worry, I didn’t leave home to visit an airplane hangar. My dad owns half of a scrap metal company so my house just looks like that. B. Dance challenges, but not until a week after they have stopped being popular because it takes me that long to learn them. C. Beans.
- Over on Instagram, we rejected modernity and embraced tradition. When our pandemic boredom caused us to resort back to 2012-esque posts and challenges, which trend did you hop on? A. Posting infographics about everything wrong with Jeff Bezos, archiving all of my pictures with my Chanel bag in them, and then replacing it with an adorable RBG Canvas tote that I found on Amazon! B. I just made my selfies uglier and from really high angles. C. I ate a slug and challenged all of my elementary school art teachers to do the same. They were actually pretty in to it.
- Some people got undiagnosed mental illnesses. Some people learned new hobbies. We all experienced something that was nearly impossible to process and might effect us in weird ways we can’t understand yet. But back to the hobbies! What skill did you learn with your new free time? A. Online shopping and a suspiciously prestigious internship that I posses only some of the skillsets but all of the contacts for. B. Angsty notes app poetry, takeout food, and the same mile walk around my neighborhood (henceforth known in my Tinder bio as “hiking”). C. Printing out pictures of The Swedish Chef from The Muppets and taping them all over my walls. Also cyberbullying.
- Finally, as vaccines begin to roll out to millions of people across the country, we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The idea of returning to normalcy/human connection is thrilling, but you’re probably gonna stay on your phone through it all. What will you do (and post) next? A. I’m actually about to post my spring break 2021 pictures from Cabo! I was lucky enough to go with my 12 best friends, my rocks, the craziest girls I know. We’re all legal in Mexico, so keep the Pina Coladas coming! But no seriously don’t worry at all, we got tested before and after we left and everyone was being super safe in our bubble. B. I’ll antagonize about it for a little bit, but my next post will probably be a camera roll dump of selfies, my friends, and a Facebook meme at the end to set me apart from the rest. C. DN$X#OIEW@$. jr4IO#WEHGnv.
Mostly As: If you answered mostly As, you are kind of the worst and are not justified in being unhinged on the internet. But you’re rich, so you’re probably going to do it anyway.
Mostly Bs: You sound a lot like me, which means that you probably try to be unhinged on the internet and then overthink it and become weirdly existential. It’s okay to be playful sometimes.
Mostly Cs: If you got mostly Cs, well, I’d tell you to put your phone down but you’re pretty far gone at this point.