We Tried to Contact Philander Chase’s Ghost to Find Out How Disappointed He Is In Us

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When Philander Chase first descended upon this hill and envisioned the academic community of Kenyon College, it was a quiet, reserved space, nearly monastic, where students could quietly and studiously spend years of their lives pondering questions without interruption. A lot has changed since 1824, not least among which is that Kenyon is—well, it would have been to ol’ Phil—big. The small, quiet community of Kenyon has become a land of endless construction and expansion. I feel like this really gets Chase’s goat, and so I spent some time this Halloweekend trying to pierce the ghostly void, reach his spirit, and find out how disappointed he is in us.

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How to Plan the Depressing Kenyon Wedding of Your Dreams

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what would their wedding hashtag be?

Our flashy, heteronormative, materialistic culture here in America has caused a lot of people to dream of their expensive, bombastic weddings, with ornate tiered cakes reaching the ceilings and fountains of shrimp and diamonds or whatever. But the American sitcom has also peddled another, equally ill-fated ideal, that of the impromptu wedding. Eloping, planning a big wedding and abandoning it to do some unofficial affair with your friends, getting drunk and forgetting you got married: these days it’s all about making your wedding as unexpected as possible and providing little to no notice that it’s happening at all. Which begs the question: if I want to get married right here and now, at Kenyon College, and only have access to the bookstore and the Market, what kind of shindig could I throw? What hootenanny would await my guests? What would I wear?

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Kenyon and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Bathroom Experiences

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photo credit: Kenyon Jank

Here at Kenyon, we all have bodies and all bodies need bathrooms. There are a lot of bathrooms on campus, some of which are nice and some of which are very scary. Most Kenyon students have a mental list of the bathrooms they like most and prioritize the patronage of those. However, even in the safest bathrooms, you can experience something that can chill you to the bone. These are their stories. 

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Weekend Playlist: Pete Davidson

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Remember when Pete Davidson came to Kenyon and we all kind of made a vow to spend a week talking about him and only him and then immediately forget that he ever existed? But then this summer, just weeks later, would start (openly) dating pop songstress Ariana Grande and would be the inspiration for the tweet that sent “big dick energy” skyrocketing to the cultural phenomenon it oh-so-briefly was? Yeah that was wild. Here’s a weekend playlist in his honor.

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10 o’clock list: How to Say “Farewell” to your Graduating Friends Without Seeming Like a Crybaby

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It’s the end of another year here at Kenyon College. Sendoff is over, finals are coming, and I’ve decided my pit stains are a fashion statement. And while I think all of us are eager to finish up the year, it also means that we have to say goodbye to any of the graduating seniors we’ve made friends with these past one to three years. Luckily, the Thrill has some hot tips on how to send them off without being a total wimp about it.

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