Hello, Kenyon. It is me, your grandmagrandpa Cat! It has come to my attention that a significant portion of you are from California, or Florida, or whatever other fake state kids are making up these days. This means you had no idea what to do in the terrible, horrible cold time of the polar vortex and will probably continue to be silly when the temperature (inevitably) drops again before spring actually arrives. I do not care WHAT the groundhog said. You are not leaving this house without your jacket, young man!
He is the little shadow-kitty parked directly in front of your feet as you walk to Peirce. He is the dirty boy tumbling in the gutters. He is the splash of ebony against a pile of leaves, loafing majestically in the sun. Most importantly, he is Moxie. Everyone loves him and he knows it. He often tricks folks into thinking he is a lost little lamb wandering in the woods. Don’t be fooled. He is smarter than you and he knows exactly what he is doing. Here’s a collection of his adventures.
You may or may not have heard about the recent romaine lettuce epidemic. The CDC has publicly stated multiple times that we do our best NOT to consume the Big Leaves until further notice. But what are the reasons behind this proclamation? What has happened to our lettuce? Who is destroying the sanctity of these vibrant emerald staples of American society? All this and more in my BIG LETTUCE CONSPIRACY THEORY INVESTIGATION.
During my stay at Kenyon over fall break, I saw… things. Terrifying things. Unimaginable things. Barely describable horrors, plaguing the campus, crawling to the surface once most of the College’s affluent students were tucked away safely in their New York City beds. Dare you peek into this Pandora’s Box of Kenyon horrors? You have been warned… what you see might SHOCK you… join me, as I reveal some of the cursed events I witnessed over break.
Halloween is a spooky time, but you know what’s even scarier? Horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad EXES! Not all our exes are demons, but wouldn’t it be nice if we could teach the gross ones a lesson? In a way that doesn’t involve direct confrontation? Good news, spooks– there is a way! Here are some quick and easy hexes, curses, and charms to cast on that one person you wish would just disappear. A spellbook isn’t necessary– only the will to bring pain (or at the very least discomfort) to those who have wronged you. Let’s get started!
Cw: transphobia, recent threats from the Department of Health and Human Services
Kenyon, I’m trans and I’m exhausted. I’m not the only one. If I were, I’d have quit by now. There’s a panel in Hayes 109 on Friday at 4 p.m., but there’s so much more to supporting trans students at Kenyon than going to one event. Come to the panel, listen, and ask yourselves how you can fully commit to supporting us. It’s important to show up for trans folx, but active allyship isn’t just about showing up. The keyword here is “active.” This kind of work involves effort. My co-conspirators and I are getting tired of doing activist work all on our own. The Friday panel on trans resources and allyship (in response to this bullshit) isn’t just a stand-alone affair. It’s an invitation. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: do you want to learn how to make this community safer and more inclusive for everyone? Then bring a notebook because it’s time for the learning to begin. Continue reading