Romaine Calm! (Kenyon vs. the Romaine Lettuce Epidemic)

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You may or may not have heard about the recent romaine lettuce epidemic. The CDC has publicly stated multiple times that we do our best NOT to consume the Big Leaves until further notice. But what are the reasons behind this proclamation? What has happened to our lettuce? Who is destroying the sanctity of these vibrant emerald staples of American society? All this and more in my BIG LETTUCE CONSPIRACY THEORY INVESTIGATION.

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Cursed Things I Saw Over Break

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During my stay at Kenyon over fall break, I saw… things. Terrifying things. Unimaginable things. Barely describable horrors, plaguing the campus, crawling to the surface once most of the College’s affluent students were tucked away safely in their New York City beds. Dare you peek into this Pandora’s Box of Kenyon horrors? You have been warned… what you see might SHOCK you… join me, as I reveal some of the cursed events I witnessed over break.

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Kenyon Hexes for your Kenyon Exes

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Halloween is a spooky time, but you know what’s even scarier? Horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad EXES! Not all our exes are demons, but wouldn’t it be nice if we could teach the gross ones a lesson? In a way that doesn’t involve direct confrontation? Good news, spooks– there is a way! Here are some quick and easy hexes, curses, and charms to cast on that one person you wish would just disappear. A spellbook isn’t necessary– only the will to bring pain (or at the very least discomfort) to those who have wronged you. Let’s get started!

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Queer 101: Transness, “Allyship,” and the Upcoming Panel

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Cw: transphobia, recent threats from the Department of Health and Human Services

Kenyon, I’m trans and I’m exhausted. I’m not the only one. If I were, I’d have quit by now. There’s a panel in Hayes 109 on Friday at 4 p.m., but there’s so much more to supporting trans students at Kenyon than going to one event. Come to the panel, listen, and ask yourselves how you can fully commit to supporting us. It’s important to show up for trans folx, but active allyship isn’t just about showing up. The keyword here is “active.” This kind of work involves effort. My co-conspirators and I are getting tired of doing activist work all on our own. The Friday panel on trans resources and allyship (in response to this bullshit) isn’t just a stand-alone affair. It’s an invitation. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: do you want to learn how to make this community safer and more inclusive for everyone? Then bring a notebook because it’s time for the learning to begin. Continue reading

Queer 101: LGBTQ+ History Month

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Hello again, Kenyon. Long time no see. It’s Queer 101, back and better than ever! Buckle up and break out your notebooks because you’re about to hear some exciting news. This month, here at Kenyon and everywhere, is LGBTQ+ History Month! Wheee! We already know that October is gay because of Halloween, but it’s also our time to celebrate queer history with our community and allies. In case you’ve been missing all of ODEI’s posters, or are having trouble reading the tiny print, the queer slice of the Kenyon Thrill is here to provide you with the who, what, when and where of LGBTQ+ History Month at Kenyon.

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Campus Cats with Cat

 

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Cats are a central part of life here at Kenyon. Sometimes it seems like there are hundreds of little yellow or green eyes watching you on your late-night market runs. Other times, they’re nowhere to be found (especially when it’s raining). Some of them are friendly. Some are skittish, some are demons, and some are a mixed bag. Whatever their personalities may be, I think it’s safe to say that this is campus is their home, too. So, we should strive to treat them with kindness and give them the space they deserve! Here’s a guide to the most famous cats on campus (and whether or not they’re approachable). Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I’m not an art major; my cat doodles are shitty. Sorry about that.

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