Fools on the Thrill Presents: Look At This Rash

We at The Fools on The Thrill are starting a new feature called “Look at This Rash.” Really a lot to explain. So, first look, then listen to the narrative:

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A rash that I have. (Image courtesy of me, taking a pic with my camera phone)

Ok, so obviously I’m no doctor. And you probably aren’t either. You might be! But whether or not you are, I am going to tell you the story of how I think I got this rash.

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How to Pronounce: “Class of 2016”

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These are someone’s CHILDREN!!!!!!!!! Probably. (via Wikia)

They told me when I was a freshman that the sophomore-senior relationship was something to look forward to.

I didn’t believe them. “But these juniors… they ain’t shit to me!”, I naively protested, internally, because that’s a rude thing to say out loud.

Alas… sweet, simple, lil’-ol’-dumb-ol’-stinky-ol’ me. Looking back now, a year later, it’s a cruel how wrong I have proven to be. I’m gonna miss so many of you so much – you guys are great! Heck, you guys are shit to me!

Therefore, it is with heavy heart and on bended knee that I offer this simple tribute to you, the graduating class of Kenyon College –  you, who have taught me so much, who have welcomed me into your homes and who have even, on occasion, into the NCA’s gazebo (but that was really just a one time thing, as you so explicitly stated. It’s cool! I understand. Everyday can’t be Underclassmen Gazebo Open-Season Day. That would be crazy. Right? That would be crazy, Cath).

So here it is, coming at you live from the deepest recesses of my soul/from inside my parked Ford Escape Hybrid with the windows fully rolled up. Warning: this one was incredibly hard to make, so it’s probably gonna be incredibly hard to listen to.

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How to Pronounce: “Ransom Hall”

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Note the beautiful, glossy black Guardians of the Night [crows] perched precariously on the roof–this will be important for the context of this article (via Wikimedia).

One of the most stately buildings across campus, Ransom Hall functions as the Admissions building, and is therefore a hub for students, faculty and visitors alike. From campus tours to scholarship meetings, formal events to snowball fights on the lawn that surrounds it, Ransom is just as busy as it is beautiful!

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How to Pronounce: “Formal”

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Safety tip!! Remember to bend from the knees, not from the waist, when performing the soro-squat in photos (via TotalSororityMove.com)

 

It’s formal season for Kenyon’s various fraternities and sororities, and that can only mean one thing: something. Actually, having never formally attended a formal (but believe you me when I say that I have *informally* attended at least one (read: crashed (read: didn’t mean to crash, just wanted to dance and someone told me it was open!!!)), it’s up to literally anyone else to define what exactly goes on at these events. Honestly, the closest I’ve ever come to infiltrating what is considered classic,  American university Greek life is borrowing a pair of sunglasses with croakies on them from a friend,  so listen below for what is truly my best attempt and a closest approximation on how to pronounce “formal”: Continue reading

How to Pronounce: “Peircegiving”

As stated so succinctly in Chef Meagan’s 2014 Peircegiving address: “what a sexy sight ;)” (via joyboom.com)

You already know what it is! But in case you don’t, Peircegiving is the highly anticipated, annual autumnal feast that will be taking place in Peirce Dining Hall this Wednesday (tomorrow!) from 5-8 PM. Grab some friends, grab a table, and grab stock of your year so far and really think about what and who you’re thankful for as you funnel hot gravy and chilled cranberry sauce down your throat like a goose being forcefed corn in order to fatten its liver for foie gras!
(Ed. Note: that image is really sad and graphic and that type of farming is rly messed up, sorry about that, this Peircegiving i am thankful for ethical agriculture, ty and have a good break every1).

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