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Author Archives: Matt Delbridge
The Friday Kethcup
Ketchup is, of course, a tomato-based sauce commonly used to compliment various dishes, especially in American cuisine. But do you know how its made? Well I’m going to tell you. You take tomatoes, sugar, vinegar, salt, spices, onion, and garlic. The more ketchup you want to make, the more ingredients you use. You take the tomatoes and put them in a bowl, then put that bowl in the microwave. Turn the microwave on and melt the tomatoes. This makes the tomatoes into tomato liquid. Then you take the bowl out of the microwave and put all the other ingredients in. Shake the bowl up and down without a cover to mix everything up. After that, you’re almost done. Take your feet and step in the bowl to squish everything together. Don’t wash your feet first. When your feet are totally covered with the mixture, then you’re done. Wipe the stuff off your feet and put it in a bottle. That’s ketchup. Throw anything left in the bowl away because that’s not ketchup. You’ve now made ketchup. It’s the Friday Ketchup.
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The Friday Ketchup
This is the introduction to the Friday Ketchup. It’s the part of the feature where I usually go on about some unimportant event or create some vaguely funny story in an attempt to entertain you, my small readership. Ultimately, of course, nothing I write here really matters, and it will be forgotten by everyone, including myself, within a few hours. Such is the ephemeral nature of the written word on the Internet. All I can hope to do is write this piece for a few more weeks and then graduate, after which the Friday Ketchup will quickly be left behind, taking up storage space on a server somewhere, but not doing much else. Sure, I suppose someone may stumble upon one of these articles once in a while by accident, but they’ll move on even more quickly than you, picking it up and putting it down like a shell you find at the sea shore. It may be appreciated in the moment, but is soon forgotten for the next shell on a beach full of them. Though perhaps all we have are the moments, maybe that’s all there is. If we try to hold on to those moments, a million more pass us by. So I guess what I’m saying is: it’s the Friday Ketchup. Continue reading
The Friday Ketchup
This is going 2 be a tough Friday Ketchup 4 me. I am still reeling from the death of Prince, one of the greatest musicians of all time. 2016 has been a terrible year in deaths so far. David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Merle Haggard, Antonin Scalia, Lemmy Kilmister, Glenn Frey, Nancy Reagan, Chyna, my pet Asian beetle Steve, and now Prince. As a tribute 2 his Purpleness, I will be spelling as he would throughout the Ketchup today. I hope U don’t mind. It’s the Friday Ketchup.
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The Friday Ketchup
As I look back on my time at Kenyon, I realize one thing has really defined my experience more than any other. Sure, the friends I’ve made are wonderful, and sure, all the things I’ve learned I’ll carry with me for a lifetime. But the one thing I think I’ll remember more than anything else is never really talked about. It passes uncommented upon here at Kenyon, and I would guess it does at other institutions of higher learning as well, but it really has been integral to my four years here on the hill. Every once in a while you’ll hear a comment, or see a poster, or smell a smell, that reminds you of it, but its such a part of your daily life that it simply goes unnoticed most times. Well, I’m giving it its due, because it really is the unsung hero of college for me. It’s the Friday Ketchup.
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The Kenyon Thrill 