Grandma’s are the worst, said nobody ever! Grandma’s are the zestiest, most wholesome, and oldest people in the world. They’re like your mother if she didn’t give a fuck. That being said, while calling Barb at the right time can be as satisfying as taking a bath, being on the phone at the wrong time can be as uncomfortable as taking a bath with your grandma. Take this quiz to find out if you should call, and don’t you dare leave a comment below (Seriously, please don’t, the Thrill punishes me for each comment I get).Continue reading
First of all, I think it’s so cool that the Thrill finally put me on their webpage as a writer only after two and a half years! I was really worried they were going to demote me to the Thrill advisory position, which consists of getting coffee for the writers along with giving foot massages to the editorial staff. They had a bunch of eighth graders doing that stuff under the pretense of an internship, but all the eighth graders joined K-SWOC so the Thrill is totally screwed. If any of you reading this need an internship, please give me a call at 415-521-4622 and attach your resume (and yes, it’s unpaid you idiot).Continue reading
“What’s really happening in the basement of the Lowry Center,” a premise so bad that when a Thrill editor assigned it to me, I pretended that I didn’t come up with it. Unfortunately, she sent me a picture of what I submitted and this title was there, along with “Ten O’clock list: My favorite numbers” and “How to get to a one way ticket to Amish Pound Town before you can say ‘a man is never old before his regrets outnumber his dreams’” Anyways, I’m super busy, so I’m gonna give this bad boy ten minutes of mediocre focus and see what happens.Continue reading
Let’s be honest. The Thrill is the best of the best. Sometimes, I feel like I don’t belong, and that we have different tastes in humor.
For example, “Do I have to Meet With My Advisor” was one of those last minute pitches that I put on The Thrill’s google doc because I was lazy and thought they would pick something better like “How do I get my mom to stop texting me” or “Ten Pirate puns that’ll tickle your timbers” or my favorite, “Reasons why you should continue to socially distance even after Corona.”
But The Thrill thought this pitch was funny, even though I didn’t. There’s only one way to see who’s right.Continue reading
I know what you’re thinking right now: “Is my crush really a bigot and all the other bad words I’m thinking of?” To that I would say, “you have a crush on me!?” But I’d be wearing a mask so you probably wouldn’t hear what I said. You’d probably hear, “Mghnmh Smush emmy?” No, I didn’t say that.Continue reading