It began at 8pm. Six shots deep, crop top-ed, looking good, you make your way across south campus. MSSC is just like AD. or DKE. or DPhi. One of those greek groups. Hell yeah. You approach the doors to Tomsich feeling basically like a badass. Hearing activity inside, you approach with K-Card in hand (and fake I.D.) Just incase they
Read more
In the wake of Kenyon’s momentous 75 million dollar donation, another hunk of cheddar slid quietly into the hands of Denison’s administration on Friday afternoon. Not to be outdone by a rival institution, Denison officials announced that they too received a 75 million dollar donation; theirs was simply in the form of Chuck-E-Cheese coins as opposed to legal tender. The
Read more
Based on the coughs and sniffles, it’s the time of the year when no one reads this weekly feature, YET again. *sigh*baby vomit*sigh* I’m sick too. How was your weekend? “I drank beer from a bag again.”
Read moreDear class of 2021, Congratulations! You’re here! You did it! Each and everyone of you is very, very smart. Or could afford a very, very smart SAT tutor. Despite the trials of applying — the listless agony of not writing the Kenyon supplement — you probably came from a wealthy enough school district to make your application shine! But, who
Read moreThe Monday Catchup has shared a document on Google Docs with you themondaycatchup@kenyon.edu to hhhhhhhhhhhh., bcc: old_kenyon_res. The Monday Catchup has invited you to view the following document: Go ahead. Click the button. Once you do I’ll have access to your social security number, your mother’s maiden name, and the PRECISE location of your last sexual foray. So much
Read moreWell. Here you go. Play it while you cry. Play it while you make love. Play it while you take finals. Play it after you take finals. Play it while you nervously pick at your acne scabs infront of your crush. Ok I’ve said too much. bye. go.
Read moreIt was a long wait, but Earl Poloshirt finally headlined his own show in Gambier this weekend. The Odd Future member was initially set to perform at Kenyon College back in February, around when he released his sophomore studio album: I Don’t Like Shit, I Don’t Go Outside. Tickets quickly sold out, and were even selling on secondary markets like Stubhub and
Read more