Good lord. This weekend. It didn’t really break ME, but it surely broke some of my friends. The play I was stage managing went up this weekend (burtle flur by jacky silvertoe) and that was CRAZY. If any of you saw two lanky sophomores carrying pitchers of yellow liquid through the servery last week, those were my assistants stocking up for our stage beer. Turns out green tea is a very convincing substitute for beer, as proven by all the LOOKS they got during dinner rush. Closing a show always has its own sort of ~catharsis~ but OH BOY did that catharsis take a turn Saturday night post-cast-party (classic theatre kid bullshit, sorry, but also not sorry at all). Now let’s keep in mind that Senior Soiree was occurring at the same time that night. But I guarantee that the belligerent little boy I was supervising went unparalleled to any senior drunk off the school’s dime. But do not fret, he got tucked into bed at the end of the night, perfectly safe, albeit near tears about how beautiful Catcher in the Rye is. That was basically my whole weekend, but here’s my high/low/buffalo anyway:
This weekend was Kenyon’s Halloweekend, which means many of you spent your eves romping around campus in costumes that varied from poorly executed puns, to niche references that read to maybe 5% of the student body, to inexplicably sexy professions and/or notable figures (and however you put this fit together, it probably cost too much money to make it worth it). I don’t mean to rain on the joys of Halloween. In fact, I love Halloween. Halloween slaps. Halloween is my middle name! Halloween is my fucking birthday! (But actually, Halloween is my literal birthday.) I just—Okay. Frankly, I find the college culture of Halloween to be disappointing. No one seems to care about pumpkins anymore. The audience for my references to the Halloweentown movies (Halloweentown, Halloweentown II: Kalabar’s Revenge, Halloweentown High, and Return to Halloweentown) is dwindling. CANDY HAS BECOME A PRACTICALLY IRRELEVANT COMPONENT TO THE HOLIDAY. I long for the days when I’m finally a real adult, and I can dress up far too complexly for my age and just give out the king-size candy bars to adorable children who actually understand and appreciate the spirit of Halloween. BUT I DIGRESS. Let’s get to the update, because that’s what you’re actually here for, right?
Family weekend. Always *such* a treat here at Clown College: College for Clowns. This campus truly transforms with the influx of capital-A-Adults. The traffic patterns in Peirce somehow manage to get worse. You can’t get Wiggins. You can’t get a parking spot. You can’t get into Ascension without weaving around middle aged women marveling at the architecture. You can’t get a seat at an acapella concert (?!?!). You can’t even get into your scheduled office hours without having to wait for some parents to finish talking to the professor who hasn’t had their kid in class since Quest for Justice, 3 years ago. And of course, it’s prime time for anything that needs an audience. Nothing like a full audience of people who may or may not have any opinion on whatever they just saw, other than “well that was fun!” or, “my, that was sad.”
Jocks and theatre kids. Comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges; There are actually a lot of similarities and that idiom has never made sense.Continue reading
It’s not news that every building on this campus has its quirks. We all have our opinions about which first year dorm is the best, whether it’s better to live North or South, and what we are willing to sacrifice when it comes to our living space needs. In a fugue state last night, I was hit with an image.
You may or may not be familiar with the website known as Canva
Canva gives you a bunch of templates for various types of visual content. You can make everything from a SoundCloud banner to a marketing proposal. I made my resume on Canva, I’ve made every single advertisement for anything I’ve ever done on Canva, I’ve even made gifts for people on Canva. Canva and I are intimate acquaintances.
To open your minds and hearts to the powers of Canva, I’ve cooked up some visual content for you all. I hope, that in this article, you can really experience the limitless opportunities this blissful platform can bring to you.
A few weeks ago, I found a tiny level on the floor of Lower Horn. I’ve been carrying it in my pocket ever since. Here’s a compilation of my investigative research on what’s flat and what’s not on this campus. Continue reading