Kenyon Doppelgangers: A Tale of Two Cranes

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Get ready, because we’re back again with the next long-awaited edition of Kenyon Doppelgangers, the classic Thrill feature where we profile two students with uncanny similarities for your viewing pleasure. I’m sure you’ve all seen our first student, Krane, ’22, hanging around Rosse and sometimes swinging by the Gund Gallery, but our second subject is a bit of a mystery.

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AI Tells All: The True Identities of Kenyon’s Elite

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Ever since digital artist Trevor Paglen uploaded his ImageNet Roulette project to the web, I’ve been obsessed. I’ve spent hours furiously uploading photos to be compared with the database and anxiously waiting for my new identity to be spit out. Am I a nonsmoker? A fighter pilot? A colleen? I hunger to know. I haven’t been able to sleep for weeks. My friends are getting worried. Deadlines have come and gone, but all I can do is give the beast what it wants. The only thing that could save me from the grips of this illness would be to happen upon an image able to expose our true reality and pull the wool from my tired eyes. And, don’t get too excited, but I think I’ve done it. I turned to the classic Kenyon figures that we know and love and, although some still miss the mark, there’s one label that matches so perfectly that I can finally end my search in success. Read on for some identifications I happened upon along the way and one that is so true and pure that it may alter life at Kenyon forevermore.

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IT Happened to Me

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Hey guys, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but one of the new first years is really weird. Twisted, you could say. He has a thing for white face paint and ruffles, which I’m totally cool with if that’s what you’re into, but isn’t it at least a little off that he doesn’t seem at all affected by this heat spell? You would think that an Elizabethan collar would sometimes be a bit too much. And I keep seeing him everywhere, before class, at Peirce, even once straddling the central post of the Gates of Hell at midnight. I was able to snap a few pics, so let me know if you know him! He keeps whispering something about floating, so I’m guessing… Bio major?

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The Thrill Editors Confess Their Most Regrettable Purchases

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via flickr

Okay. So, it’s the end of the semester and I’m pretty sure we’re all going through it. There are so many papers, exams, and projects that sometimes all you want to do is make an unneeded Market run or impulse buy whatever type of alien mask is at the top of your Amazon wishlist. While we at the Thrill aren’t always the biggest fans of capitalism, we can 100% relate to using our meager Kenyon wages to buy things that were 100% unnecessary. Below are some such examples of Thrill editors proving that we are all just dumb babies who should not be trusted with real money.

  • The ramen noodles that gave me second degree burns
  • I bought an E.T. mask online and I don’t regret it but I guess it could be considered “regrettable”

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Weekday Playlist: Walking to Class

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It’s 9:58 on a Friday morning. You stand just inside the doorway of Old K, not quite ready to make your way to class and attempt to bullshit your way through your third day in a row of not doing the reading. You need something something special to get you going and thankfully, you know just the thing. You take a deep breath, grab your headphones, and hit play on your favorite Pete Davidson-themed playlist. You skip along Middle Path, humming all the way, until just before you fling open the glass doors of the Gund Gallery, an even better song starts to play! Now you’ll have to wait outside as you appreciate every soulful note because you can’t just stop art in it’s tracks, right? Right. As you sway back and forth, watching all of your classmates shuffle into the building without you, you decide that next time, you’ll be smarter. You’ll choose a song that’s exactly the length of your walk to class, right down to the second. But what will it be? Well, the Thrill has a few suggestions…

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