Peirce Hooch

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It is shockingly easy to ferment fruit and make alcohol out of it, a product colloquially known as “hooch.” Various prisons try to crack down on the practice but, given that it pretty much only requires fruit, sugar, and an airlock, the tradition of hooch continues. And wouldn’t you know, fruit and sugar and both things we have in our lovely dining hall, Peirce. I thought one day, while getting yet another banana from the servery, that perhaps I could be getting more bang for my buck. Perhaps, I could be making Peirce Hooch.

note: the Kenyon Thrill does not recommend that anyone tries this at home, especially underage readers or anyone who enjoys things that taste good.

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Breaking: 2020 Commencement Speaker Announced, Vol. 2

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Oh BROTHER! Have you heard this week’s buzz on the hill? After Beto was forced to give up the commencement speakership after saying that a square could never be president, President Decatur’s cronies have given us here at The Thrill an insider scoop into the new commencement speaker for the Kenyon College Class of 2020. You heard it here first! Hank “Brother of John” Green says it’s finally “his turn” to be in the limelight and offer his sage advice for those of us getting out of here.

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