It Happened To Me: I Finally Went to Mod B

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To be fair, I was ~abroad~ all of last year so I missed the full christening of the modular units. I was on my high horse for two semesters when everyone was complaining, thinking that I was somehow above the collective Kenyon criticism of lack of study spaces on campus, no library, etc. All the usual critiques when we have nothing real to complain about. For the first several weeks of school I happily avoided them. I endured hearing Wiggins replay Echosmith every afternoon just to see how long I could hold out before entering those sexy temporary structures.

Finally, I did it.

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Stuff You Got Rid of When You Realized it Wasn’t Kenyon Aesthetic Enough

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Honest to God it’s a Texas tradition to give everyone you know a monogrammed gift when you graduate high school. So when I rolled up to Kenyon for the first time it’s accurate to say that I had never seen a pair of clogs before or been in a room with more than five liberals at a time. Continue reading

Notes From Abroad: Poundtown

PoundlandIt was my first day at the University of Exeter. I had spent two days traveling, and the amount of dry body sweat layered on new sweat on another layer of dry sweat was approaching a dangerous level. As we left the bus in a Kenyon cluster like a strange Midwestern cult, we watched as Sarah Heidt and Sergei waved enthusiastically from the sidewalk with their matching windbreakers and brown sensible shoes.

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10 o’clock list: Social Board Promises Sendoff Act Will Actually Show Up This Year

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Kenyon students love nothing more than recalling ambiguous memories about Sendoff. Even if you spent a mere two minutes in the pouring rain watching some dude named Bas you still end up looking back with nostalgia on sitting on South Quad drinking a lukewarm Keystone. Kenyon students are far too familiar with having almost great experiences; however, as no one has yet to cancel on us this year, Sendoff seems promising.

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PSA to the Raccoon Who Keeps Chewing Through the Power Lines

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Please stop. I get it: there aren’t a lot of things for a city fella like you to do in this village. I feel the same way. And I understand how tired you probably are of the repetition of Papa Johns and Keystone in the campus trashcans. Variance is important for a diet like yours. Continue reading

Things I Realized Over Winter Break Are Only Socially Acceptable at Kenyon

I’ve had a hunch for a while that I’ve slowly developed a mild version of Stockholm Syndrome with Kenyon College. It comes on slowly, starting with a positive sentiment towards living in a one-and-a-half restaurant town. It finally becomes incurable with the onset of a nose ring infatuation and a sensation of terror because of the abundance of tampon options at the local Trader Joe’s. Since there are very few similarities between rural Ohio and Houston (besides the raging conservatives), I am reminded over breaks that there are a lot of things that are ONLY socially acceptable on Kenyon’s campus and are fully bizarre out in the real world:

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Dumbest Thing My Mom Ever Did: Called D-Cat Gus From Breaking Bad

Dumbest Thing My Mom Ever Did: Called D-Cat Gus From Breaking Bad

It was Parent’s Weekend my freshman year. I was surrounded by students who stunk of Ozium and hangover sweats, all collectively pretending that we weren’t glad as hell that our parents had come back for us a mere month into college. All was going well. Continue reading