It Happened To Me: My Mom Called Me A “Good Boy” For Having A Second Plate Of Dinner

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Author’s Note:

Well shit. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but something’s abound and it’s not a great something. However, it’s not a world-ending something. Keep your heads, don’t be dumb. I miss you all.

The Post, For Real Now:

I am a very good boy. I don’t mean to brag, but I brush my teeth twice a day and I eat all my vegetables. I am an extremely good boy. 

That being said, it’s been a while since anyone has told me I am a good boy. Therefore it came as a shock to me when, at a family meal, my dear mother commended me for eating two helpings of dinner by saying “good boy.” This vexed me. Continue reading

Kenyon Fowls

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If nothing else, Kenyon College is a strict gulag where deviation from social norms is met with quick and brutal retaliation. God I love it here. So, despite our social codes being mostly unwritten, I decided to jot down the Seven Deadly Kenyon sins. Also how they are directly related to birds. Tag yourself if you don’t fear being “ostrich-ized” by your peers. Continue reading

What’s Up With The Post Office Fallout Shelter?

IMG_2383If you’re anything like me, then you’ve definitely gone to the post office- not expecting anything to be there, but just for the satisfaction of opening up your PO box and feeling like an adult. I’ve made the shameful but oh-so-tempting empty-handed walk out of the post office many a time. Naturally, spending so much time there, I’ve noticed some odd things about the building. Continue reading

Audition Notice: Peirce Dates!

heart-made-of-hearts.jpgHello Lover, 

Are you on a quest for that special someone to hold you at night? Have you been searching for the One? Do you like Piña Coladas AND getting caught in the rain? Well do I have news for you! For a limited time only, The Thrill is offering to set you up on a date.

An evening of extravagance awaits, darlings. You’ll eat the finest Peirce entrées, be treated to signature cocktails, and waited on by our editorial staff. 

All you have to say is yes, cutie pie.

If you’re interested in meeting new people in a romantic setting, contact us at thekenyonthrill@kenyon.edu, and we’ll set you up!

Yours, and only yours,

The Kenyon Thrill