It’s Way Too Effing Late To Be Applying For Jobs But I Am So It’s Okay (A Guide To Last-Minute Job Applications)

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So I’ve been having a lot of nightmares in which all my teeth fall out. It’s very upsetting. According to the Internet, the root of these dreams tends to be a sense of powerlessness, which totally makes sense since I’m graduating in 2 weeks with no job.

Here’s the deal: the one, single, big, dumbo goal I had for this entire year was to get hired. Really and truly, all I’ve ever wanted was to walk across that stage and receive my diploma with some semblance of a future. And despite the implications of this post’s title, I have been making an effort. In addition to sending out a number of applications for jobs I can’t afford, I have: Continue reading

The Class of 2013 Remembers

Ah. Nostalgia.

[This article was co-written by Eve Asher ’13.]

Hey class of 2013, remember how when we were first-years everything was awesome and fun all the time? And now everything is terrible? What could explain this? Certainly not us getting old and jaded. Must be that the school’s changing. Mhmm. Yup. Remember these relics of happier times?

The Bexleys. When I was a first-year I used to dream of one day living in a Bexley. You see, kids, where now stands a field of enormous gleaming cookie-cutter houses, there was once a street lined with modestly sized, kinda run-down cookie-cutter houses. They seemed so glamorous and adult compared to my room in Gund. But the NCAs make the Bexleys look like the New Apts. Also the NCAs don’t host a sweet block party, which is a real shame.

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10 o’clock list: Sendoff Spend-Off Shopping List

Old skool Sendoff

Old skool Sendoff

Rejoice, my sun-starved peers, Sendoff is upon us. I can already feel my blood turning to Franzia-induced sludge, my eyes swelling from hours of pong and Keystone Light. Who knows, the temperature may even get above 60 degrees this year! While this celebration of debauchery may not be as idyllic as it used to be, I am preemptively nostalgic and thus have compiled a surefire shopping list for all you Sendoff neophytes.

  1. Duct tape. Let’s start with something simple and easy to acquire. Duct tape has a lot of uses on South Quad, particularly as the day wears on and you’re having trouble keeping track of your  shit. Just slap a few strips of this stuff on your arm, leg, stomach, wherever, and you’ve magically got a part-skin, part adhesive wallet! You definitely won’t lose your phone this way. Continue reading

Admitted Students Week: A Tiny Thing I Love About Kenyon

I fancy myself a glamorous napper, though I am sure I more closely resemble a sleeping troll.

I fancy myself a glamorous napper, though I am sure I more closely resemble a sleeping troll.

Let me start by saying there are a lot of big things I love about Kenyon – Middle Path, performing with the Owl Creeks, Poem in Your Pocket Day. Those are all fairly big, and well-known, and probably covered in most of the admissions packets. But one of the lesser known joys in life, at least in my opinion, is the Peirce Nap.

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Do it tonight: SPEAK: Voices from the Hill

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Good news: the answer to the ever-pertinent question, “What is your junk’s anthem?” can be discovered tonight in Peirce Pub, all thanks to the Crozier Center for Women’s event SPEAK: Voices from the Hill. Organized by Jenny Colmenero ’13, Colleen Damerell ’13, Madeline Jobrack ’13, McKinley Sherrod ’14, and Jane Jongeward ’14, the  hour-long program features monologues written and performed by students, covering everything from Olin eye-fucking to sexual assault.

  • What – SPEAK: Voices from the Hill
  • Where – Peirce Pub
  • When – 7 PM

10 o’clock list: Things I Wish I Had Given Up for Lent

An illustration of what people gave up for Lent on Twitter in 2011. Tiger blood and lint are definitely both on there.

An illustration of what people gave up for Lent on Twitter in 2011. Tiger blood and lint are definitely both on there.

For all you heathens out there, the reputable academic journal “Wikipedia” defines Lent as, “a solemn observance in the liturgical year during which an individual prepares for the annual commemoration of Jesus’ death and resurrection through prayer, penance, almsgiving, and self-denial.” As a semi-latent Catholic with a penchant for routine, I’ve always given up dessert – as in, “I won’t eat this ice cream directly after dinner but if I wait like 2 hours then I’m not technically eating dessert it’s more like a snack awyeah you got this gurl like an ice cream snack.” Ugh. Total snooze-fest amirite?

Since I’m highly unimaginative when it comes to sacrificing during the Lenten season, I thought I’d do a little research on what the kids are giving up these days. Turns out, they’re about as boring as I am, except for a few choice suggestions like “anywhere I have to wear shoes,” “the last bite of my food,” and “spoons and forks.”  As tempting as a barefoot jaunt through the snow is, I figured I should perhaps put a little more personal consideration into my Lenten  activities.

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10 o’clock list: 5 Movie Scenes It’s Okay to Cry About

It's okay. Everybody hurts in Feburary.

It’s okay. Everybody hurts in Feburary.

Remember that time when there was that thing in the sky called the sun?  Or when people didn’t become apoplectic over a Reply-All thread about Assassins? And Middle Path didn’t resemble the swamp that ate Atreyu’s horse in “The Neverending Story,” right? A time before midterms, right? Guys? Amirite?

As a wise old Owl of a senior, I’ve found that the best way to handle this clusterfuck of February misery is to just sit yourself down, have a good cry, and then move on. Sometimes just facing your pent-up woe can be a lot more efficient than trying to speed-read four Chemistry chapters through a haze of tears and snot. What better way to kickstart a sobfest than watching some of your (read: my) favorite heartwrenching films?

Let’s get our catharsis on, shall we?

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