Ed.: Thought I'd offer my two cents on Shakespeare.

It’s the last week of classes and the campus has that general feeling of pent-up stress that only finals week can bring. Like any good drama major, my catharsis of choice is quoting Shakespeare.

It is well-known that Shakespeare is the master of wordplay and most people know he had a special knack for coming up with insults. Shakespearean insults are perfect — they insult the person to whom you’re speaking and make you seem smarter in the process. More importantly, they’re really fun to yell at the top of your lungs when you’re stressed. Below, I have my 10 personal favorites of Shakespeare’s many, many insults, but really they’re all good and I encourage people to leave their own favorites in the comments section.

Side note: if Shakespeare’s not your thing but you still want to scream theatrical allusions, “Stellaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” is always a good choice.

"WHY DID I THINK TAKING CALCULUS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA?! I HATE THE QR!”

10) IT’S A TIE!

“Clod of wayward marl”—Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing

and

“A fusty nut with no kernel” —Thersites in Troilus and Cressida

Some of the best Shakespearean insults are the ones that sound really cool. I’m not going to lie, I have no idea what a marl is, but there’s something about how “clod of wayward marl” slips off the tongue that just makes it a satisfying insult. Similarly, I have no idea what a fusty nut is, but one can assume that they normally have kernels. Thus, for Thersites to imply that Achilles is a fusty nut with no kernel, well, that’s clearly hurtful. I must say that the fusty nut insult might have placed higher if not for the fact that it comes from Troilus and Cressida, a play best known for being slightly more famous than King John and slightly less famous than the play within a play in A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Read more Shakespearean musings after the jump. Continue reading →