10 o’clock list: The Gambier Raccoons Most Likely to be Diligently Plotting Your Ruin

May is at last upon us which means that the raccoons we’ve dearly missed over the winter are finally arriving in droves across the midwest as they complete their months-long, multigenerational migration from Central Mexico. But just because most members of Procyon lotor sustain themselves off of nectar and trash doesn’t mean that some especially depraved individuals aren’t out for blood.

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How to Make Peace with the Fact that Your Parents are Normies

Woe! Your parents have betrayed you once again: they call your favorite 100 gecs songs “noise” that needs to be “turned off,” they go to bed by 10:00pm, they can’t wait for the inevitable post-presidency Biden memoir to drop, or they liken buying you medium toothbrushes to buying you cigarettes (they’re too harsh on your gums). If you managed to ignore it before, you’ve finally come to realize that your parents are indeed normies. It hurts, but lucky for you, I am more than willing to share some proven strategies to accept your parents for who they really are.

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BLOG OFF: Colbert-Pollack ’24 vs. Gonzalez ’24

We like to stay pretty competitive here at The Thrill, and a Blog Off is one way we can definitively prove that one of us is objectively a better blogger (dare we say, a better person). So we leave it to you, the reader, to decide in a blind taste test who is really better as we square off on various topics. This time around, we have Staff Writer, Reese Colbert-Pollack and Staff Writer, Alejandro Gonzalez ’24 battling it out RE: Which month is worse? February or March? Who will come out on top? Only you can decide.

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How to Make Up with Your Parents After Forgetting to Call Them this Pi Day

Uh, oh. What’s that? You didn’t call your parents yesterday? Like, on March 14? Yikes, yikes, yikes. Sure Mom got over it when you didn’t call on her 50th, but not checking in with the fam on the most important mathematically inspired holiday of the year–that’s serious. After all, Pi Day is a sacred time of geometry, joy and, perhaps most importantly, togetherness. 

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