Welcome Back to This Hellscape, Peers

Hello and welcome back! Seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd, lots of unfamiliar backgrounds. We’re happy to have you here.

We’re Reilly and Ellie, your Editors-in-Chief for this strange Zoom year. We’re both doing this job from our respective childhood homes, so we’re here to ask that you all, on and off campus, take this journey with us as we stumble through being in charge.

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10 o’clock list: Multi-level Marketing Schemes that Kenyon Students Would Fall Form

gradschool thrill mlm

Kenyon students are nothing if not scam-able. Our very being here is a big scam. For example, most all of you probably thought that you would have a physical library to study in and a peril-free apartment to live in. But, instead, you got the janky Kenyon we all know and love.

Anyway, I just need thirty minutes of your time to explain these company I’ve been working for. If you take the leap, it has the potential to change your life. NONE of these products will be seen in stores. And lucky you– all you need to participate is a blue Freitag, three years of an American Studies degree under your belt, and roughly a quarter of a million dollars.

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