BREAKING NEWS: Kenyon Announces “Fuck Them Kids”

Oh, dear Kenyon, you have decided to disappoint us once again. You have decided to move our graduation to before finals.

This brings forth a few questions:

  • If seniors are graduating before our final grades are in, what does that mean for students who are relying on their final grades for graduating with honors?
  • Do we just leave after our finals are done? Or before?
  • What are you going to give us in the care package? A water bottle and a digitally signed card by Sean Decatur?

Thank you for yet again, Kenyon, for reminding all of your seniors that you simply do not care that we have any kind of special final moments on campus. I really appreciate that you have chosen to bring back the sophomores, and absolutely not give a shit about the seniors. I know this is an intensely difficult position, but your choices through the last four years (particularly your handling of COVID) has been ridiculous and short-sighted. It’s not even about the parents being here– it is the fact that I will still be working on my senior comprehensive exercises when I graduate. 

At Kenyon you will (watch the school be run like a cartoon college). Don’t ask me for money.

Meet SRPA (& Their Knox County Partner, New Directions)

The Kenyon Thrill is honored to promote the Sexual Respect Peer Alliance (SRPA), a student-led organization dedicated to empowering Kenyon students to have healthy, consensual sexual relationships. We hope this article can serve as a helpful tool in acquainting the community with SRPA and explaining the group’s new partnership with domestic abuse shelter and rape crisis center New Directions. 

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Do Not Do That, First Years

unless you can commit to doing so safely <3 a note from the lesser of the two sports bands

Hello! It’s me, Reilly, a Kenyon senior who has dreamed of attending our dear school on a hill for nearly a decade now. While that dream so magically came true, I am not able to do so in Gambier at the moment because of the ongoing pandemic. And that’s okay! I get it–– we are all making sacrifices right now, and I am grateful to have my health. However, some rumors have been swirling about first year’s antics, and these stories have gotten all the way to the crusty and jaded seniors off campus. So, just in the spirit of building community even from far away, I have a note for these first years:

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