Bad Kenyon Fanfic Chapter 1/?

Sean Decatur Adopted Me??!?!?!? (Featuring The Kenyon Lords Ice Hockey Team, Zayn Malik, and Mr. Krabs)

Chapter One:

It started out like any other morning. I woke up in my Norton dingle and put my totally drab brown hair into a messy bun. I start to put mascara on my eyes, which are the color of Peirce beef stroganoff, which I find kind of unsettling since I am vegan. Anyway, I stick in my polymer clay earrings, grab my kanken, and head out the door.

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Quiz: Does the Pandemic Give You an Excuse to be Weird on the Internet?

Believe me, we are all sympathetic to the way isolation can mess with your psyche. All sorts of human communication seems foreign. And without the sometimes necessary and always humbling experience of interacting in person, all hell can break loose when the internet becomes our main area of socializing. Forget about wondering if your jokes land or if your personality charms in a real-time moment. From behind a screen, you can fabricate whoever you want to be! But does that mean you should? Take this quiz to find out.

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10 O’Clock List: Hotties Who Are Vaccinated

Ah yes, The United States of America’s vaccine rollout. It is at best disorganized and at worst a crisis that reveals the true colors of our deeply flawed healthcare system. But not to worry, because despite the hiccups, it seems that the sexiest among us have been prioritized. We can all rest assured that hot people will have immunity. Here’s to protecting them and our ability to stare at their conventional attractiveness without fear of COVID-19.

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