First-Years You Will Accidentally Converse With In The Common Room

In order to find the people you click with at Kenyon, you have to be willing to put yourself out there. And what I’ve learned during my two months on this hill is that “out there” usually means out of the comfort of your dorm and into your building’s common room. Maybe you could even find your future spouse there, scrolling through their phone on a 20-year-old leather couch, who knows! But while this is a sure possibility, it’s also likely that you’ll have to talk to a variety of characters before finding your people. These are just some of them.

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My Encounter with the Ghost I Think is Living in Lewis

I absolutely love Halloween. I love dressing up. I love watching scary movies. I especially love the book I recently purchased titled The Big Book of Ohio Ghost Stories. And up until recently, I thought I loved being scared. But for all the ghost stories I had loved reading, I myself had never lived one.

Until now.

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If John Green Wrote a Kenyon-Inspired YA Novel, This Would Be the Summary

Hold on to your seats, because we at The Thrill obtained an advanced copy the newest YA hit: Finding Middlepath. This 100% real, verifiably true summary comes straight from the ever-flowing pen of Kenyon’s most esteemed export, the metaphor man himself, John Michael Green. Read it and weep.

College freshman Philander Mather-McBride is exceptionally ordinary. He plans to live the rest of his life with his only personality traits being his freckles and the fact that he has read Catcher in the Rye once. That is, until he meets enigmatic junior Koko Rivers. Koko is eccentric and unconventionally beautiful (you know, the type of beautiful that makes her attainable to a very boring guy). She divides her time between aimlessly frolicking through the cornfields of their rural Ohio campus and talking to the rat she found in her NCA.

And then, one magical Deb Ball night, Koko invites Philander into her world. And his life changes forever.

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It Happened To Me: I Ate Chilito’s Three Nights in a Row

I know what you’re wondering. Yes, I made this decision consciously and voluntarily. I ate at Chilito’s, our on-campus Mexican restaurant, for three consecutive nights. And I know what else you’re wondering. The truth is, I don’t really know why either. But the best way to bring you and I closer to understanding why I did what I did is to go back and reflect. Together, we’ll evaluate my fragile mental state, poor nutritional choices, and maybe even review some food. So here’s It Happened To Me: I Ate Chilito’s Three Nights in a Row. Alternatively titled Attempting to Substitute Guacamole for Psychotherapy, a Play in Three Acts.

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10 o’clock list: Places to “Honeymoon” After Getting Kenyon Married

As a first-year, I am merely an outside observer of the concept of “Kenyon Married”. I am the accidental child brought into an adult-only romantic dinner at the quirkiest all-inclusive resort of all time. Except instead of a resort, I am referring to our fine liberal arts institution.

I got here a little over a month ago, so it is understandable and expected for me to not be “Kenyon Married”, or even “Kenyon Engaged”. I would argue that this perspective puts me in a prime position to make unbiased suggestions about other people’s relationships.

Or maybe I’m just the strangest combination of a Hopeless Romantic and Jaded Writer Who Likes Making Fun of Things on the Internet to ever grace this site. 

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