10 o’clock list: Peirce Aphrodisiacs

man-eating-a-fresh-oyster-BC76E7

alamy babyyy

Sure we’ve all heard of oysters, strawberries, and chocolates as aphrodisiacs, food to fuel your sex drive. But if you’re on a budget this Valentine’s Day and still looking to get sultry with a special someone, we all know that fresh fruit and seafood is hard to come by in the servery. That’s why we here at the Thrill have put together a list of alternative Peirce aphrodisiacs that are sure to liven up the libido. Alternatively titled, a List of Foods to Get You in the Mood, here’s the Thrill’s science certified list of Peirce foods to help make this year’s Valentine’s day extra sexy and special.

Continue reading

Advertisements

Seniors React: Fandango ’19

64923173-senior-group-friends-exercise-relax-concept

123RF

Last night, seniors and professors alike trudged through the wind and cold to make merry. A marker of 100 days left until graduation, Fandango was in full swing for two whole hours. Students got sloppy. Professors got dancing. I ate two plates full of mac n’ cheese wedges because this is what peak femininity LOOKS LIKE. Are you a curious underclassman looking for an inside scoop? Were you a senior that was there but, alas, can’t seem to remember the night? Well, folks, you’re in luck, the seniors of the Kenyon Thrill staff are here to fill you in on the good, the bad, and the sticky!

Continue reading

Open casting call for Peirce Date participants

95eb483d-5dd9-4e8b-88dd-b7659f4e817f-large16x9_abc.jpg

Are you looking for someone to keep you warm in the midst of this polar vortex? Are you pining for luvvv? Well lucky for you, the Thrill hath a way. Let us set you up on a luxurious blind date at Peirce at no cost.

You can volunteer yourself or your friend by emailing us at thekenyonthrill@kenyon.edu!

Check out all our past Peirce Dates here.

4 o’clock list: everyone at this goddam airport who can go suck a rotten egg

That’s right. I’m at the airport on this fine December 26th. It is four in the morning, pre-butt-crack of dawn, sustained by last night’s Christmas fried chicken and rage. And if I die in this godforsaken airport, cremate me, and snort my ashes in front of TSA, buy a commemorative plaque and cement it into the O’Hare floor in my name. For Elise Tran, who hated this airport and everyone in it. Send forth Danny De Vito, and may the good and wise man present each and every person on this list with a single rotten egg. And tell them, Danny. Tell each and every one of them, from me, from my chapped lips pale with the tint of sweet and nearing death–tell them I told you to tell them to suck it.

Continue reading

Spooky poetry inspired by the market sandwich

deli-sandwich-be397g.jpg

alamy stock photo

Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

Peers, friends, lovers. How does one even begin to broach the subject of the market sandwich? How does one even look one in the eye and dare to love? I am at a loss, at a standstill. Where do I start? At the lettuce? The bread? The Thousand Island dressing? I must confess I’ve never felt this way about anything before. A love like this is a burden. It haunts me, consumes me, fills me with something dark and urgent, and, Reader, I am afraid.

Continue reading

Thrill Forced to Confess Their Acceptable Birds

IMG_0318 (1)

Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

For today’s bot article, we at the Thrill confess to you the shameful, the secret, the unspeakable that is our acceptable birds. We hope you enjoy.

Continue reading