If Resumes Were Honest

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When you’re job hunting, you’re supposed to put your best foot forward. To get on the grind you’ve got to sell yourself. Capitalism wants you to dress it up and make it look sexy. Employers want you to give ’em the lowdown in a condensed twelve by eight and a half piece of paper. For those of you looking for direction on how to spruce up those resumes, here’s how not to do it:

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10 o’clock list: Uses for your liberal arts degree when no one will hire you

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Has it just hit you that you aren’t going to be the next Allison Janney? Have you just realized that all the people who care that you know what free indirect discourse is are all sitting in the same room? Are you graduating in less than a year with no idea what to do with yourself? Aren’t you glad your skill set is both narrow and UTTERLY INCOMPATIBLE WITH CAPITALISM? Well lucky ducky you, here are five uses for your liberal arts degree when no one will hire you:

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10 o’clock list: Activities That Could Potentially Be Second Base

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Some say it’s over-the-clothes heavy petting, others say it’s a little bit of hanky panky with the peepees and weenies, but the fact of the matter is that “second base” is an ambiguous intimate activity that no one is quite sure how to define. We all know first base is kissing, third base is sex, and fourth base ghosting, but here’s a few things second base might refer to:

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