Kenyon American Girl Doll: Meet Emma, Kate, Claire or any one of the Names There are 6 of in Your English Class

13y1wLeZ-r4DsmKuTDjLaYQShe’s probably got brown hair, wears clogs, and knows all the lyrics to Your Dog by Soccer Mommy. Facing the plight of no deli, the newest member to the American Girl family has the tenacity–fueled by the light wash jeans she got from the Wednesday sale–to make it through any obstacle in her (middle) path.

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Ashes to Ashes, Olin to KAC Hill: Hitting an all-time low

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“College will make KAC hill less steep with dirt from library”

This headline, from a recent article published in The Kenyon Collegian, outlines a plan to use the ashes of our soon to be cremated Olin Chalmers Library to make the KAC hill just a tad less of an athematic’s worst nightmare. Just to be clear, this is not satire.

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We Tried Six Different Types of Ramen from the Market So You Don’t Have to

 

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LFP: “Ramen is best when you are fresh out of the shower. Very Glossier.”

 

Finals are hard, high sodium intake is easy. Lillian Fox Peckos and I decided to dive into the world of salty, powdered MSG broth and slurp up everything it had to offer. We tried six different types of instant ramen from the market, which made our Old K double smell like dehydrated beef; but alas, it was all in the name of fine cuisine. What were our expectations? Umami.

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Rejected Thrill Pitches

We at the Thrill strive to bring humor into this forsaken world day after day. We search the inner most corners of our minds, depths of our souls and the bowels of our bowels for the content that you love so dearly. Although sometimes, we may stop short, go too far or just completely miss the mark in our creative process. Here are some pitches we didn’t quite think through… Continue reading

The Crap in our Refrigerators: Illustrated

A Kenyon student emerges from their final class of the day and heads to their dorm. It’s 4:00 pm and the comfort of their bed is as enticing as a thick cut of meatloaf slathered in ketchup*. That sweet bliss of a peaceful dorm room is at their finger tips as they turn the handle of their door. However, upon entry, the student knows something is wrong; there is an odor in the room. Now, this odor isn’t a familiar odor. It isn’t the dank smell of the hallway. It isn’t the stale beer of the stairwell. It isn’t the abandoned slice of pizza from an all-campus that has been sitting on the water fountain for 3 days. What could it be? The student strides over to the mini fridge in the corner of their room and flings the door open.

 

* if you do not find this image enticing find me in person and we will talk. Peirce meatloaf is a not so hidden gem. Ketchup is the caviar of the masses.

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Is it a Lyric from a Traditional Kenyon Song or a Quote from L. Ron Hubbard’s Dianetics?

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Liberal arts college or cult? Drinking Everclear or going clear? K-card access or E-meter practice? Auditing a class or auditing John Travolta? Theta or Thetan? Sea Semester or Sea Org? Philander Chase or L. Ron Hubbard?

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