Planet Earth Drinking Game

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Fall break has come and passed, and we at Kenyon College now return to our regularly scheduled classes. While many students spent the time off visiting home, catching up on sleep, or just vegging out in general, I was hard at work. Late at night, if you were listening intently, you could hear my intermittent cries of “Eureka!” In my laboratory I was devising the perfect way to counter seasonal affective disorder. In a hearty “Huzzah!” of triumph, I finally figured it out. In order to battle the elements which so surreptitiously try to harsh my mellow, I must understand them better. To best nature, I must become one with it.  Continue reading

BathroomGate; or, Peirce, Tall Girls, & You

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I’m no stranger to the bathrooms on the first floor of Peirce Dining Hall. I previously wrote a whole post instigated by being annoyed at how short the urinals are. You might think that that’s enough content on the blog about this one specific bathroom. You might even say, “Damn, Mike, chill out with this bathroom stuff,” but I will not chill out with this bathroom stuff. Not when I’m sitting here like Dustin Hoffman in All the President’s Men ready to blow this whole “bathroom thing” wide open. The doors to the Men’s and Women’s room are different heights.

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We Tried All the Chilitos Margaritas Flavors So You Don’t Have To

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The Mission: Try all of the flavors of margaritas at Chilitos

The Flavors: Lime (original), Strawberry, Raspberry, Peach, Mango, Blueberry

The Judges: Colleen Kemp ‘20 Editor-in-Chief (CK), Kylie Lohrenz ‘20 Daily Editor (KL), Jane Zisman ‘20 Executive Editor (JZ), Lillian Fox Peckos ‘20 Executive Editor (LFP), Sarah Hoffmann ‘20 Editor Emeritus (SH)

*Let it be known that we are all 21+ because the Thrill is not above the law*

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The Thrill’s Senior Year Bucket List

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It’s senior year and we’ve all swam in the Kokosing, smoked at sunset point, made out at sunset point, gotten too drunk at Send Off and dreamed of becoming a great chef, despite being a rat in an intensely rodent-phobic profession, moved to Paris to follow this dream on the advice of a rotund, french acid flashback, and with the help of a weak-ass garbage boy as our beard, worked in the kitchen, and eventually got the chance to prove our culinary abilities to a daddy long-leg lookin’ food critic, who turns out to have been bullied as a child and just needed some squash to feel better. 

But again, it’s senior year and we have to find something new to do to pass the time before we kick the bucket, and finally descend from this hill that has looked more and more like a collection of dentist’s offices since we’ve gotten here.

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10 o’clock list: Places to “Honeymoon” After Getting Kenyon Married

As a first-year, I am merely an outside observer of the concept of “Kenyon Married”. I am the accidental child brought into an adult-only romantic dinner at the quirkiest all-inclusive resort of all time. Except instead of a resort, I am referring to our fine liberal arts institution.

I got here a little over a month ago, so it is understandable and expected for me to not be “Kenyon Married”, or even “Kenyon Engaged”. I would argue that this perspective puts me in a prime position to make unbiased suggestions about other people’s relationships.

Or maybe I’m just the strangest combination of a Hopeless Romantic and Jaded Writer Who Likes Making Fun of Things on the Internet to ever grace this site. 

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What a Mather-McBride Evacuee Fashion Show Would Have Looked Like

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8:20 a.m., September 18th, Gambier, OH. An incident that in a few years we may vaguely recall, but not enough for it to be a key aspect of Kenyon lore.

The morning of September 18th, the fire alarm went off in both Mather and McBride residence halls as a result of a gas leak that, in a surprise plot-twist to the Mather students who smelled gas while reluctantly exiting their rooms, was not in the building but was actually in Allen House. Due to the early hour and the… alarming nature of the alarm, many students had not yet arisen from bed, dressed themselves, showered, or gathered their class materials––or any materials at all for that matter. Some exited their buildings with only a towel and whatever bit of dignity they had left. As students flocked from their dorms to Gund Commons to Peirce to their classes, those unaware of the situation were seemingly indifferent to the pajama-clad first year students, paying them little attention at all, but I’d like to imagine a world where the best-dressed (or best not-so-dressed) evacuees of Mather and McBride were given the spotlight they deserve, so here’s what a Mather-McBride Evacuee Fashion Show might have looked like.

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