Kenyon Fowls

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If nothing else, Kenyon College is a strict gulag where deviation from social norms is met with quick and brutal retaliation. God I love it here. So, despite our social codes being mostly unwritten, I decided to jot down the Seven Deadly Kenyon sins. Also how they are directly related to birds. Tag yourself if you don’t fear being “ostrich-ized” by your peers. Continue reading

5 Ways to Sit in Peirce Without Facing the Crippling Reality of Being Known

At this point, it feels like the people asking if they can take a chair from your table are just trying to point out how alone you are because there’s several completely empty tables surrounding you that they could take a chair from. Here’s how you can tackle your inner demons and feel safe to eat in Peirce once and for all.

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Peirce Hack: Just Don’t Go

 

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A brief slice of food for thought. Next time you’re about to enter Peirce thinking about what mystery meat is on the table today or what vegetable-that’s-not-a-vegetable (I’m looking at you corn) is gonna be up for grabs this time, might I suggest taking a step back, doing a 180, and hightailing it to the nearest, I don’t know, Pop-Eyes or whatever.

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It Happened To Us: Rihanna Stole Our Money

 

I’m sure you’ve also been targeted by Kate Hudson’s notorious Fabletics scam somewhere on your Facebook feed. I’m usually pretty cautious of falling into traps of 30 day trials and VIP packages of B-List celebrity workout clothing. So I never thought International Sensation Rihanna would be the one to bring me down. To bring us all down. Continue reading

First Years React: Inaug Ball

Our dear dear first-year writers and editors experienced their first-ever Inaugural Ball this weekend! So we asked them: What did you think? Did you like it? Were you scared? Did you cry? Are you okay? Is there someone I can call? An ambulance? Do you need an ambulance? Oh god  you don’t have insurance okay oh god oh fuck I can’t drive but I can call you an Uber? Yeah? Is Uberpool okay?

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