Here’s how much Kenyon housing would rent for across the U.S.

Ever since Kenyon’s half-remote/half-in-person fall plan was announced, I’ve been fixated on one thing: The real estate value of converted singles around campus.

I’m a disgruntled senior performing arts major so the thought of sophomores paying a bargain price for a massive NCA dingle has been keeping me up at night.

To make myself more upset, I decided to calculate how much this semester’s housing would rent for in cities across America. I’m an HGTV hoe so I felt qualified to do this.

NOTE: Rent estimates are based mostly on crude Zillow averages and something called rentometer.com, and factor in size, location, amenities, what have you. It’s not scientific but I did my best.

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The Monday Catchup 9/14/20

Salutations plebes. I’ve started to question the level of reality of this thing we call “Kenyon” “College.” As the days go by, my time on the hill feels more and more like a lengthy lucid dream. Sure, I have hours and hours of vivid memories stored in my little pea-brain of all the quintessential Kenyon moments, like passing a raccoon on Middle Path, and feeling that fleeting sense of spiritual connection between man and beast, or sitting at a New Side rectangle table for so long that your ears begin to ring and your vision starts to blur. But are those moments of bliss from my “College” “Experience” fact? Or are they fictions my neurons slap-dashed together on a particularly turbulent night of dreams? Am I really here, writing this catchup? Or am I tucked away in deep sleep, having an especially surreal dream that has quickly turned nightmare? Terrors of the brain aside, here’s the weekend:

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10 o’clock list: Peirce Features That Would Be Unthinkable To Have Today

Goodbye, tower of ice cream in kiddie pool

Peirce looks a little different this semester– it’s like Peircegiving every day! To take precaution against the coronavirus, the dining hall has had to switch from letting students dish out their own food to packaging it up into nice little boxes and sending us on our way. And who could blame them? We were gross! And to prove it, here are some things we used to do in Peirce that would be unimaginable to do now.

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There Are Lots of Fun and Unique Things to Do in my Empty Room, Like Look at the Latch on the Window Who Looks Like a Small Kneeling Person

My lovely Old Kenyon empty white room, how I love you! The fact that there is nothing placed on your concrete walls is truly a sight to behold, and not a problem. I love my smooth tile floor, with little dust motes forming an “impromptu carpet” of sorts. But more than anything else, I love my little window latch that, at first glance, appears to be a small kneeling man. Hello little kneeling man :) !!!!

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Thrill Movie Reviews: Involvement Fair Videos

With this slightly unconventional start to the school year, organizations on campus have had to adapt in order to recruit new members. Postponed are the days of the in-person activities fair, which means clubs have had to make the best of our largely-virtual Kenyon experience by making informational videos about themselves. I commend this effort, and decided to make the best of the situation myself by reviewing a few as if they were movies and the satire blog I write for were Letterboxd for a moment.

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