10 o'clock list: Kenyon Majors That Strike Fear Into My Heart

 

In the two years I’ve endured at Kenyon, my fight or flight response has helped me navigate campus and kept me alive. Nothing triggers this instinct more than running into certain Kenyon majors. You know who I’m talking about—that one person who just looks like the poster child for their respective major. Their entire identity revolves around their major. I’m not saying that every person who decides to pursue these academic endeavors is inherently frightening, but there’s a reason these majors are featured on this list.

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How to Not Throttle the NYC First Years Comparing Mutuals Ahead of You in Line at the Deli


I write this apology on behalf of all of the New York first years as sort of a self aware notes-app apology. I have just joined this midwestern safe haven, but I’d like to address my community and say this: I have failed you. I am so angry at myself for not seeing it sooner. I have not leveraged my New York identity that no one cares about to speak up for people from the ‘burbs. I’m sorry. Here is my commitment to do better.

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The Monday Catchup 10/5/20

What do you guys think of Swedish fish? I didn’t realize such a standard candy could be so divisive, but recent events have changed my preconceived notions. We just got a very large bag of Swedish Fish, and they’ve caused quite an upset in this household. I have now had a heated debate about those “Scandinavian swimmers” (as Trader Joe’s calls them) not once, not twice, but THRICE in the past 24 hours alone. One of my housemates, who will go unnamed, has developed some hostility for the red gummies, purely based on the choice to include the country of origin in the name of the candy. The hatred has nothing to do with the candy’s taste, only the principle. I don’t understand it myself, and honestly, it just makes me angry. Alright, enough ~catching~ fish (I’M SO FUNNY), let’s get CAUGHT UP.

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