The Monday Catchup

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7:30 A.M. The din of library construction tickles your ear drums. “Wake up,” she whispers to you, “welcome to the morning.” For a while you thought the library was beautiful, easy, and clean. She was older and well-liked by many. For a while you didn’t mind her cracking a little and exposing those hidden parts of her. You loved it. When she finally crumbled, you walked away. You built a wall around her. You thought you could paint what you wanted to see on that wall. You knew that wouldn’t work, or maybe you were dumb enough to think it would work. Now she’s all ugly, boring — messy. Now she’s a cruel lover, and she’s only getting colder by the minute. You thought you could escape her. Now every morning you’re greated with the clangs and beeps and banging of an angry woman who has no pity for you. Now she gives you the finger instead of asking “How was your weekend ?”

“Turkey but not. Italian food instead.”

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Sorting Famous Literary Figures into Kenyon Frats

hemingway the dke

Kenyon is a literary as shit school and we love that here. Kenyon loves books, and the people who did books. Authors, you know? And poets and such. And there’s got to be a way to categorize all of these bad boys, and since no one really wants to think about, say, which Romantics match up with which First Year dorms (Coleridge would live in Gund, don’t @ me) we’re going to do frats, so buckle in.

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The Kenyon Girl

kenyon cool girl

Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a Kenyon girl. Being the Kenyon Girl means I am a brunette, bespectacled, coastal elite who adores Peeps parties, Pinegrove, the Collegiate, and American Spirit cigarettes, who reads David Foster Wallace, drinks Natty Lights, is friends with all of the Fools but not in the Fools, loves to hookup before ignoring each other on Middle Path, and jams Peirce grilled cheeses and VI spinach and artichoke dip into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest Peircegiving while somehow fitting into the same cuffed jeans, because Kenyon Girls are above all hot. Hot and quirky. Kenyon Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Kenyon Girl.

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Vaguely Kenyon-themed Poetry Inspired by rupi kaur

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Me, performing a poem

Dear reader. I think so much. It gets uncomfortable in my head with all those thoughts taking up so much space. I put my thoughts in poems so my brain doesn’t get squished by the weight of childhood memories consisting of me holding a stick in various locations and reruns of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Poems are like little glass jars filled with pickled organs. And the organs are so pickled, they’re almost translucent. As Bryce Shivers and Lisa Eversman of Portlandia fame once said, We can pickle that.” That’s just beautiful. I made a custom embroidered pillow on the internet which says “We can pickle that.” I didn’t buy it though. One day, the whole world will be pickled. You can just dump stuff in a poem and then forget all about it. And then get famous while people theorize about your sexuality.

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Meet a KEEPer: Ceci Rodriguez ’22

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KEEP, the Kenyon Educational Enrichment Program, is a scholarship program for underrepresented students of color and first generation college students. The program is run through the Office of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. KEEP Scholars undergo a six-week program prior to their first year on campus, taking a analytical writing course and a data analysis course for credit going into the academic year. The program aims to build leadership skills and provide a cohort of support. In this article we feature Ceci Rodriguez, one of the KEEP Scholars. Continue reading