The Thrill’s Holiday Gift Guide: How to Shop for Your Parents in the Market and Bookstore

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The fall semester is almost over here at gay old Kenyon College, and while the impending doom of finals may be muting your holiday cheer, they are coming. And that means that you have to stop toying with the idea of opening your Psych textbook for the first time in months and start thinking about how the hell you are going to get your parents something for the holidays at the tiniest college in the world. Well, have no fear! The Thrill is here to help aid you with this handy guide of unforgettable gifts from the Village Market and Kenyon Bookstore.

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How to Survive Your “Collaborative” Final Project

Okay, so your professor is trying to be ~hip~ and ~non-traditional~ and has assigned a “collaborative” final project. Don’t panic. Even though your grade now hinges on other, likely incompetent, people, you must remember to stay calm. Here are some steps to combat the inevitable feelings of dread, frustration, and anxiety.

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The Psychic Sessions

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Exciting news! Recently I’ve discovered that I have psychic powers! Now you may be thinking, “wow, how’d you find that out?” or “that sounds like a lie you made up for attention.” I assure you, however, these abilities are very real. Why else would my brain echo with screams from one thousand unseen mouths? Continue reading

Phishing Scam or Kenyon Fuckboi?

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It (sorta) happened to me: my friend got a hilariously bad spam email. When I read it myself, something about the way that the “hacker” spoke sounded oh so familiar. I soon realized that the scammer reminded me of your garden variety Kenyon Kasanova. He managed to take on several classic Kenyon personas over the course of the email, a few of which are below:

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The Monday Catchup

ohmigod you guys. Elle Woods graduated from Harvard Law School this weekend!! I’m, like, so proud of her. The daughters of Delta Nu support each other, and I’m the pledge-master of Kenyon’s chapter of Delta Nu, so you know I was at that graduation ceremony, cheering her on sooo hard, like “Honey, it’s us! The girls of Delta Nu! We came to seeeee our president beeeee legally bloooooonde.” I’m still a little bit bummed that she and Warner didn’t work out (RIP Ellner), but I’m glad she found a new mans who seems like a better guy. He’s a little scruffy? But she gave him a really good makeover and got him to ditch that corduroy tragedy he wore as a jacket. Also! He’s a frat guy! Some frat called AD… I’ve heard he lives in a bullseye??? Not really sure what that means, but I’m so happy for her. Delta Nu also had our formal this weekend, we had to compete with pretty much every other greek life org on this CAMPUS!!! But of course we pulled the people. It was like…. sold out or something ;)

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I Finally Saw KCDC’s Production of The House of Bernarda Alba Last Night And Honestly, I Was A Little Disappointed

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via The New York Times

I was so sad when an incident involving an angry duck, nine parking tickets, and an industrial size jar of mayonnaise made me miss KCDC’s original run of The House of Bernarda Alba a few months ago. I was obviously ecstatic when I found out they were bringing the show back for one night and one night only! I finally saw the show last night, but to be honest? It wasn’t what I was expecting at all and I was pretty let down. Continue reading

Do It Tonight: Legally Blonde

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Looking for a fun night of singing, dancing, populist insurrection against the French monarchy, and early 2000’s fashion? Look no further than Kenyon College Players’ production of Legally Blonde, opening TONIGHT in the Black Box Theatre. Email kcp@kenyon.edu for tickets or wait outside in the cold like a fool. Continue reading