Spooky poetry inspired by the market sandwich

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alamy stock photo

Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

Peers, friends, lovers. How does one even begin to broach the subject of the market sandwich? How does one even look one in the eye and dare to love? I am at a loss, at a standstill. Where do I start? At the lettuce? The bread? The Thousand Island dressing? I must confess I’ve never felt this way about anything before. A love like this is a burden. It haunts me, consumes me, fills me with something dark and urgent, and, Reader, I am afraid.

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Thrill Forced to Confess Their Acceptable Birds

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Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

For today’s bot article, we at the Thrill confess to you the shameful, the secret, the unspeakable that is our acceptable birds. We hope you enjoy.

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Weekday Playlist: Walking to Class

musicman

It’s 9:58 on a Friday morning. You stand just inside the doorway of Old K, not quite ready to make your way to class and attempt to bullshit your way through your third day in a row of not doing the reading. You need something something special to get you going and thankfully, you know just the thing. You take a deep breath, grab your headphones, and hit play on your favorite Pete Davidson-themed playlist. You skip along Middle Path, humming all the way, until just before you fling open the glass doors of the Gund Gallery, an even better song starts to play! Now you’ll have to wait outside as you appreciate every soulful note because you can’t just stop art in it’s tracks, right? Right. As you sway back and forth, watching all of your classmates shuffle into the building without you, you decide that next time, you’ll be smarter. You’ll choose a song that’s exactly the length of your walk to class, right down to the second. But what will it be? Well, the Thrill has a few suggestions…

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Where to Find a Stephen

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Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

 

So this one was really tough to figure out, but, I was tasked with figuring out where to find a Stephen. Did I succeed? Watch the video below to find out:

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10 o’clock list: Bot Prompts We Couldn’t Do

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Image credit: “How Computers Misunderstand the World” The Verge

Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

It’s been a weird week here at the Thrill. Always on some cutting edge, this week we’ve decided to delve headfirst into the Future™ that AI and machine learning have for us. One day, I’m assured by professors, targeted ads on Instagram, and Google’s AlphaGo, machines will be so efficient at doing everything, they’ll even be able to think for me! Thank GOD. Just as predicted, they’ve thought of some Thrill ideas for this week, and let me tell you, I sure am nervous.

Here’s a few prompts the bot came up with that we wanted to write, but just couldn’t match the bot’s intelligence:

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Gambier Ink: Tattoos Around Campus, Part XVI

Teddy Hannah-Drullard ’20

“My goal is to one day be covered in tattoos I’ve designed; right now I’m at two. This tattoo is the most recent—I designed it and got it done over Spring Break my sophomore year (I have no clue where the final drawing went, but I managed to find one of the preliminary sketches on my art account on Instagram). (That’s a plug.)  Continue reading

In The Studio: Wholesome (FKA Chocolate For Dogs)

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Welcome to In the Studio, a feature dedicated to exploring the fantastic independent musicians at Kenyon. This week, we showcase Wholesome, a four-piece band consisting of Shane Wells ’22 of Nashville, Oliver Pearson ’22 of Los Angeles, and Eli Haberberg ’22 and Elijah Newman ’22 of New York.

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