Category Archives: Features

10 O’Clock List: Songs to Blast Now That Trump’s Been Voted Out

November 10, 2020 By in Features Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Loathe him or hate him, Trump has been voted out of office, despite his insistence that the election was rigged. I don’t know about most of the Kenyon population, but I’m stoked. I haven’t had serotonin levels this high since… well… who knows? To keep the happy chemicals coming, I’ve curated a playlist dedicated to bidding you-know-who an enthusiastic “good riddance!” I may have questionable music taste, at best, but the following songs are standouts as far as emulating the feeling of euphoria upon realizing we’ll be kicking him out of the White House in a few short months.

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The Monday Catchup 11/09/20

November 9, 2020 By in Features, News Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Wow! So election week was pretty crazy, huh? The whole experience was honestly very on-brand for 2020. It dragged on for far too long, emotions somehow managed to run high while also instilling that deep-seated numbness and feeling of dread that we’ve come to know so well, and there were a shit ton of MAPS. So many maps. And while I could talk about how HISTORIC and GROUND BREAKING this election was, I’m going to talk to you all about my new appreciation for maps, and more particularly, map guys, and even more particularly, Steve Kornacki.

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Jane Gets LOST: Season 2

November 5, 2020 By in Commentary, Culture, Features, Reptilians Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

Yeah, uh-huh, that’s right– I’m already back with the next installment of Jane Gets LOST. If you thought a plane crash on an island shrouded in mystery was enticing enough, then just you wait for the trials and tribulations of Season 2. We’re talking an underground bunker situation aka THE HATCH, a bounty of new characters, shocking deaths, emotional reunions, multiple hostage scenarios, and even a thinly veiled commentary on our class-based society. Intrigued? Let’s get LOST!

**OBVIOUSLY so many spoilers ahead**

(but also this show has been out for over 15 years, get a grip)

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The Monday Catchup 11/2/20

November 2, 2020 By in Commentary, Features, News Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Halloween 2020 is in the books! Woo! I hope you all stayed safe while being spooky!!! Did you??? Did you stay safe??? Let’s not forget there’s a full-ass pandemic going on!!! Because it seems like a lot of people out there had some sort of mental lapse and thought it was okay to party with lots of friends just because a fun holiday rolled around. Now that’s scary, and NOT scary in a good way. Scary in a bad way. Don’t do that. Stop.

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Halloween Self Defense: Make Pumpkins Think Twice Before Attacking Your Home

October 29, 2020 By in Culture, Features Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

Hello civilians. If you’re reading this article it’s because you are trying to guarantee your family’s safety on this ghoul- and gremlin-filled night. Well I have bad news for you, because there are NO guarantees in life, other than what you can provide for yourself through hard work. That being said, sometimes you need instruction in order to best conquer challenges, which is where I come in. After years of consuming Halloween-themed horror content, I am uniquely qualified to educate you on how to defend yourself from the ever-present threat of marauding pumpkins seeking to infiltrate your home and destroy your family values with rock-and-roll music and free love.

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