10 o’clock List: Rejected Senior Thesis Titles

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Perhaps the most belabored phrase I’ve heard as a Kenyon student is “Writing is rewriting.” Normally this irks me, because it’s true. Because it’s true, that means more work. Womp womp. There is, however, one exception to this phrase — titles. Titles tell your reader everything and nothing at the same time. Slap that bow of a title on top of that gift of a thesis and put it under the tree. A bad title can be sad, but a rose by any other name would smell jjjuuuust as sweet. Despite this, some titles must go. I dug through the annals of Kenyon College Senior Thesis past and found these title rejects. We can only imagine what they prefaced.

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A Kenyon Klothes Swap Vol. V


Welcome to WWE (stands for Kenyon Klothes Swap) featuring Tyler “Ron “Big Body” Matthews”  Raso and Ellie “Caitlin “Rock Lobster” Martin” Melick. Fortunately we are lovers, not fighters, so instead of competing we gave each other makeovers.

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10 o’clock List: Ways I Almost Died at Kenyon

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courtesy of Kenyon’s website

Here’s the thing everyone: sometimes I’m a real dumbass. Like, in terms of Book Smarts and being a Learned Young Man, no, I’m not dumb in that regard. In fact I like to think I’m pretty smart, if it’s all the same. But just in life? Real dullard, every now and then. And the danger about being a fool out there in the world is… well, danger, which I seem to find myself in more times than my parents would be comfortable with, probably. So, that being said, here’s some of the times I nearly died on this campus because I was being stupid:

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The Monday Catchup

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It is written in the contrails of airplanes slicing through the sky. It is written in the frown lines on your professor’s forehead when you ask a stupid question (yes, there is such a thing as a stupid question). It is written in jacuzzi bubbles rising to the water’s surface, breaking, releasing their hot air. Chris Raffa. Chris. Raf. Fa. Three perfect syllables. One perfect man. I’m here to wipe his record clean. He DOES think women are funny. It turns out he thinks I, specifically, am not funny. Fair point Raffa. How was your weekend?

“Terrible now that you brought me up again in a Catchup.”

“Chris it’s only because I want your attention.”

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