It Happened to Me: I Got Stuck in a Blizzard for 15 Hours

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image credit: SnowBrains.com

Hello, yes, it’s that time of year again. Everybody’s making the trek home, whether that involves putting your trust in an elaborate bureaucratic system hellbent on putting you in a metal tube that slingshots you through the air, or taking matters into our own hands and driving home. I live on Long Island, a fact that for some reason upsets every single person I know. This means, among other things, that it’s a nine-hour drive from here to home, and with City traffic and Long Island traffic, it’s more like a twelve hour drive home. So I usually fly, but I have notoriously horrible luck traveling. If I fly, there’s about a fifty percent chance my flight will get cancelled. I’ve been laid over and stranded in Charlotte, Seattle, LaGuardia, Columbus, and Washington D.C., and one time I booked a flight that didn’t exist.

[Editor’s note: I was on the same flight as Chris for Thanksgiving break and we did have to deplane and wait for a new one because our first plane’s door hatch was broken, causing a 2 hour delay. Bad travel luck confirmed]

So last spring break I thought, why don’t I drive home. I didn’t have a car, but my friend Lily did, and she lived just outside New York City. Eight hour drive home, take the train into the city, and from the city to the island. What could go wrong?

I got stuck in a blizzard for fifteen hours.

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I Drank Out of Bowls For Three Days and Sorry I’m Enlightened Now (But Not Really)

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photo cred: Mollie Greenberg, who would like to say “I think you could associate me with liquids”

Look around you. The world is two big bowls pressed together with a cranberry vinaigrette salad in the middle. Your head is a bowl for the squishy computer we call the brain. Your hands are just flexi-bowls. Eyes? Bowls. Your heart is a bowl for the slippery blood which breaths emotion and heartburn into you. Bowls, even, are fashion (see below).

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The Thrill Editors Confess Their Most Regrettable Purchases

et mask

via flickr

Okay. So, it’s the end of the semester and I’m pretty sure we’re all going through it. There are so many papers, exams, and projects that sometimes all you want to do is make an unneeded Market run or impulse buy whatever type of alien mask is at the top of your Amazon wishlist. While we at the Thrill aren’t always the biggest fans of capitalism, we can 100% relate to using our meager Kenyon wages to buy things that were 100% unnecessary. Below are some such examples of Thrill editors proving that we are all just dumb babies who should not be trusted with real money.

  • The ramen noodles that gave me second degree burns
  • I bought an E.T. mask online and I don’t regret it but I guess it could be considered “regrettable”

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Where to Find a Stephen

WHERE'S STEPHEN

Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

 

So this one was really tough to figure out, but, I was tasked with figuring out where to find a Stephen. Did I succeed? Watch the video below to find out:

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10 o’clock list: Bot Prompts We Couldn’t Do

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Image credit: “How Computers Misunderstand the World” The Verge

Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

It’s been a weird week here at the Thrill. Always on some cutting edge, this week we’ve decided to delve headfirst into the Future™ that AI and machine learning have for us. One day, I’m assured by professors, targeted ads on Instagram, and Google’s AlphaGo, machines will be so efficient at doing everything, they’ll even be able to think for me! Thank GOD. Just as predicted, they’ve thought of some Thrill ideas for this week, and let me tell you, I sure am nervous.

Here’s a few prompts the bot came up with that we wanted to write, but just couldn’t match the bot’s intelligence:

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Apply to Be a SRPA Supporter

As Sexual Respect Peer Alliance (SRPA) Supporters, we are committed to providing unbiased and unwavering support for those impacted by sexual misconduct by being their trusted peers. Our position as fellow students on this campus allows us to actively initiate and engage in conversations about sexual respect in order to promote a greater culture of consent, awareness, and support, three things that are critical to college campuses. As part of our training, we are familiar with the Title IX process and the student resources that Kenyon offers. Additionally, all SRPA Supporters actively engage in our own training throughout the year so that we can constantly improve the ways in which we communicate, support, and empower.

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NATE’S COOKBOOK: THANKSGIVING TURKEY, I GUESS?

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So, here’s the deal. I was supposed to do a whole Thanksgiving thing the week before break, but then we had Kenyon’s Darkest Day, and so that plan went down the drain pretty quick. I haven’t thought of anything new, though, so. We’re just going with Thanksgiving, I guess? Okay, here’s how to make a Thanksgiving turkey, I hope:

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