Shit Professors Say, Vol. III

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These quotes have been collected from professors in various areas of study, by a variety of Thrill contributors.

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I Infiltrated an A Cappella Group So You Don’t Have To

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That’s right gang. Despite having no vocal training, no singing experience, and only the vaguest idea of what a time signature is, I went undercover and pretended to be in an a cappella group for two (2) years so you don’t have to. And now the jig is up, and I’m here to share with you all the things I’ve learned in my secret time singing without instruments. The Group in Question: Take Five, Kenyon’s premiere jazz a cappella group, the sexiest group on campus and the only group stupid enough to take me.

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The Thrill Descends into the Pit

These are the faces of exploration

Magellan circumnavigating the globe. Leif Erikson first setting foot on the North American continent. The moon landing, if you believe that sort of thing. What do these all have in common?

They’re all stories of exploration and discovery, of broadening horizons both on the maps and in the minds. These tales are meant to educate, but more than that, they’re meant to inspire. And I can say with full surety that it was the spirit of these great adventurers before us that guided this Thrill-based expedition into the infamous Kenyon Pit.

Come join us on our journey.

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New and Improved Roommate Pairing Questionnaire

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credit: Apple, their Apple Pencil (2nd Generation), a pencil, made of ghosts (probably), this is how they actually marketed it

 

Dear The Office of Residential Life,

It has been several years since my last confession. Though I work for you, I feel as if I could do more to work with you. I am a simple person with simple skills. I can ask politely for things I am paying for. I can put an unlimited amount of raw Sriracha in my tiny, tiny mouth. I can peel an orange in one seamless ribbon but usually I can’t. This is my effort to bring my passion for putting people into broad categories (ie. astrology, MBTI, sorting-hat) to you, The Office formally known as Residential Life. Below are what I believe to be some questions which which truly bring insight to the Roommate Pairing Process. You can reach me at wordpress.com, or at your local Post Office.

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A Kenyon Klothes Swap Vol. V

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Welcome to WWE (stands for Kenyon Klothes Swap) featuring Tyler “Ron “Big Body” Matthews”  Raso and Ellie “Caitlin “Rock Lobster” Martin” Melick. Fortunately we are lovers, not fighters, so instead of competing we gave each other makeovers.

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Becoming a Diamond on Old Bob’s Necklace of Kindness; An Insider’s Guide

diamond old bob    How can you become a diamond on Old Bob’s necklace of kindness? I honestly have no idea. He’s never even given me a second look when I walk up to the dessert section (which is frequently).

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