Quiz: Should You Call Your Grandma?

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Grandma’s are the worst, said nobody ever! Grandma’s are the zestiest, most wholesome, and oldest people in the world. They’re like your mother if she didn’t give a fuck. That being said, while calling Barb at the right time can be as satisfying as taking a bath, being on the phone at the wrong time can be as uncomfortable as taking a bath with your grandma. Take this quiz to find out if you should call, and don’t you dare leave a comment below (Seriously, please don’t, the Thrill punishes me for each comment I get).

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BREAKING NEWS: Kenyon Announces “Fuck Them Kids”

Oh, dear Kenyon, you have decided to disappoint us once again. You have decided to move our graduation to before finals.

This brings forth a few questions:

  • If seniors are graduating before our final grades are in, what does that mean for students who are relying on their final grades for graduating with honors?
  • Do we just leave after our finals are done? Or before?
  • What are you going to give us in the care package? A water bottle and a digitally signed card by Sean Decatur?

Thank you for yet again, Kenyon, for reminding all of your seniors that you simply do not care that we have any kind of special final moments on campus. I really appreciate that you have chosen to bring back the sophomores, and absolutely not give a shit about the seniors. I know this is an intensely difficult position, but your choices through the last four years (particularly your handling of COVID) has been ridiculous and short-sighted. It’s not even about the parents being here– it is the fact that I will still be working on my senior comprehensive exercises when I graduate. 

At Kenyon you will (watch the school be run like a cartoon college). Don’t ask me for money.

Welcome Back! We’re still in charge

(*private island all tested negative multiple times wear a mask <3)

Hello, dear Thrill readers. It is your editor in chiefs, Reilly and Ellie. You might have noticed that we haven’t vacated this office as is traditional, and we noticed that too. We are in fact here to stay, here to play, here to have some fun in the sun from our New Apt and our “large property full of deers” (Ellie’s description of her home). We hope you’re setting into your first week nicely and enjoyed the meatloaf for dinner tonight (whether your mom made it or you had it from Peirce).

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