I hope this article finds you all safe and healthy. I know we’re trying to cope with these unsettling times the best we can- drugs, binge-watching Pandemic, and hoarding all the basic commodities we so desperately need, to name just a few. For me, it was investing all of my savings into a bear market economy, trying to get back with my ex, being super passive aggressive to my entire family (including our dog), and eventually reading the entire Twilight series. Continue reading
Another chip fell on the class of 2020 this morning, when Former Representative Beto O’Rourke cancelled his plans to speak at this year’s commencement. He cited the ongoing coronavirus crisis as the reason for his withdrawal.
“Obviamente, estoy muy decepcionado,” O’Rourke said in a statement, “pero la lucha contra la pandemia es la máxima prioridad, y sería irresponsable a viajar a Ohio en el futuro próximo.”
The day has finally come. No more wishing for Janney, hankering for Hank, or manifesting the pure rock ‘n’ roll power of Beto O’Rourke. Well, we might continue with that last one. But for now, we must rest. As of this morning, the word is out that the real, no joke Commencement Speaker for the Class of 2020 is Samie Kim Falvey ’96.
The Kenyon College Political Science Department and Satan have teamed up to provide us with the antiquated tradition, Comps: a two-day-long examination in which PSCI majors develop arthritic hands and the ability to graduate, but in the end, have nothing to show for all their hard work because it’s a test. Academia sure is sweet.
A brief slice of food for thought. Next time you’re about to enter Peirce thinking about what mystery meat is on the table today or what vegetable-that’s-not-a-vegetable (I’m looking at you corn) is gonna be up for grabs this time, might I suggest taking a step back, doing a 180, and hightailing it to the nearest, I don’t know, Pop-Eyes or whatever.