Look at These Googlies!

Someone is putting googly eyes all over campus! Who is this begoogling culprit? Anyone with information regarding the Serial Googler should contact the Kenyon Thrill or apprehend them yourself. We are unsure whether this is a group google or an individual effort but the more I look around campus, the more I find these little plastic eyeballs staring back at me! Happy finals week. The buildings of Kenyon are watching.

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Cinco de HEYO

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WELCOME KIDS, IT’S TIME TO LEARN ABOUT CULTURE! If you’re one of the people in the above image, god please keep reading! There’s still hope for you so let me save your soul. 

FACT #1: Cinco de Mayo isn’t Mexico’s Independence Day. Most people know that. If you didn’t now you do! No worries! We all need to be educated sometimes!

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[Student-Info] Sims Construction Update – Phase 2 Initiated

 

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Kenyon Student #1 fleeing from the police

 

Attention all Kenyon College students, faculty, and simulated critters: the Kenyon 2020 Plan is now shifting from Phase 1 into Phase 2. Read on to see the first images of the new Kenyon library. Also, please be aware of recent mod glitches––we’ve recently noticed modular units popping up on Peirce lawn, which definitely isn’t part of the plan, right?  Continue reading

Is This Kenyon or Russia?

oldkenyonaerial.jpeg     It makes sense that people are worried about our government having illegal ties with Russia with all the turmoil and investigations going on in Washington D.C. However, all those scandals in the White House are simply distracting us from the real scandal going on here at Kenyon.  See, there is some very compelling evidence that implies that suggests that the Kremlin has taken a special interest in this small liberal arts college in the middle of Ohio. I know, I know, it’s shocking, heartbreaking even, but unfortunately, it’s true. Forget about all that Illuminati confirmed bullshit, this is where the real conspiracy is at.

  1. Wonder who that mysterious $75 million dollar donation was from? We all know that Putin’s favorite number is 75. In the words of the late great Avril Lavigne (yes she died and was replaced by a clone) “She was a small liberal arts college, he was a “diplomatically elected” Russian president, can I make it anymore obvious?”
  2. If you look at an aerial image of the mod pods recently installed, they spell out  “Russia 4 Evah.”
  3. The words “Decatur” and “Kremlin” have the same amount of letters. Coincidence?
  4. Everyone always talks about how Gambier, Ohio bears a striking resemblance to Moscow. It’s mainly the cornfields but also the high density of extreme wealth in the middle of vast amounts of poverty. I smell an Oligarch.
  5. If all that hard evidence isn’t compelling enough, here is a direct quote from the Kenyon Website about the Russian department students. “They have worked in the American Embassy in Moscow” Mmmmhmmm.

 

Anonymous Student Interview about Administrative Changes to the Peer Counselor Program

Anonymous Student Interview about Administrative Changes to the Peer Counselor Program

Today I sat down with one of the Kenyon students helping to organize protests against changes to the Peer Counseling program. I’m sure you’ve seen the protestors sitting in Peirce with their various signs. Perhaps you’ve even talked to them about their cause. If you haven’t and you’re still not completely clear about what’s going on, I urge you to speak with the protestors and ask them about their concerns. They’re friendly and they don’t bite– I promise. For now, here’s an interview about potential changes to the Peer Counseling program and how these changes might impact the student body. I’d like to thank my anonymous source, the Peer Counselors, and the student protestors for all the hard work they’re doing.

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Important Changes Planned for Peer Counselors

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This post was authored by members of The Peer Counselors

The Peer Counselors (PCs) are a fairly young organization, and were started in response to campus-wide concerns surrounding mental health crises and the disconnect between students and the counseling center. After speaking out about the issue at large in a Collegian op-ed, Ocean Jurney ’15, and former director of counseling services, Patrick Gilligan, worked together to create a group able to bridge the gap between the students and the counseling center staff. The Peer Counselors have always been exactly what their name implies: students making themselves available to help other students with any number of concerns or problems. Continue reading