Is This Kenyon or Russia?

oldkenyonaerial.jpeg     It makes sense that people are worried about our government having illegal ties with Russia with all the turmoil and investigations going on in Washington D.C. However, all those scandals in the White House are simply distracting us from the real scandal going on here at Kenyon.  See, there is some very compelling evidence that implies that suggests that the Kremlin has taken a special interest in this small liberal arts college in the middle of Ohio. I know, I know, it’s shocking, heartbreaking even, but unfortunately, it’s true. Forget about all that Illuminati confirmed bullshit, this is where the real conspiracy is at.

  1. Wonder who that mysterious $75 million dollar donation was from? We all know that Putin’s favorite number is 75. In the words of the late great Avril Lavigne (yes she died and was replaced by a clone) “She was a small liberal arts college, he was a “diplomatically elected” Russian president, can I make it anymore obvious?”
  2. If you look at an aerial image of the mod pods recently installed, they spell out  “Russia 4 Evah.”
  3. The words “Decatur” and “Kremlin” have the same amount of letters. Coincidence?
  4. Everyone always talks about how Gambier, Ohio bears a striking resemblance to Moscow. It’s mainly the cornfields but also the high density of extreme wealth in the middle of vast amounts of poverty. I smell an Oligarch.
  5. If all that hard evidence isn’t compelling enough, here is a direct quote from the Kenyon Website about the Russian department students. “They have worked in the American Embassy in Moscow” Mmmmhmmm.

 

Anonymous Student Interview about Administrative Changes to the Peer Counselor Program

Anonymous Student Interview about Administrative Changes to the Peer Counselor Program

Today I sat down with one of the Kenyon students helping to organize protests against changes to the Peer Counseling program. I’m sure you’ve seen the protestors sitting in Peirce with their various signs. Perhaps you’ve even talked to them about their cause. If you haven’t and you’re still not completely clear about what’s going on, I urge you to speak with the protestors and ask them about their concerns. They’re friendly and they don’t bite– I promise. For now, here’s an interview about potential changes to the Peer Counseling program and how these changes might impact the student body. I’d like to thank my anonymous source, the Peer Counselors, and the student protestors for all the hard work they’re doing.

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Important Changes Planned for Peer Counselors

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This post was authored by members of The Peer Counselors

The Peer Counselors (PCs) are a fairly young organization, and were started in response to campus-wide concerns surrounding mental health crises and the disconnect between students and the counseling center. After speaking out about the issue at large in a Collegian op-ed, Ocean Jurney ’15, and former director of counseling services, Patrick Gilligan, worked together to create a group able to bridge the gap between the students and the counseling center staff. The Peer Counselors have always been exactly what their name implies: students making themselves available to help other students with any number of concerns or problems. Continue reading

10 o’clock list: Social Board Promises Sendoff Act Will Actually Show Up This Year

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Kenyon students love nothing more than recalling ambiguous memories about Sendoff. Even if you spent a mere two minutes in the pouring rain watching some dude named Bas you still end up looking back with nostalgia on sitting on South Quad drinking a lukewarm Keystone. Kenyon students are far too familiar with having almost great experiences; however, as no one has yet to cancel on us this year, Sendoff seems promising.

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Wiggin Street Coffee to release new light roasts!

Wiggin Street Coffee to release new light roasts!

They’re here! Wiggin Street’s new line of light roasts was released this past week, and they’ve been a hit on campusspecifically, a smashing and much needed hit to this campus’s overblown ego! Whether you’re a coffee person or something other than carbon-based, there’s a new Wiggin’s light roast for everybody. The baristas customize each one! Here are a few of our favorites:

  1. “Plain latte! Decafe to match your personality: all aesthetic no substance!”
  2. “I recreated your male pattern baldness in the cappuccino art”
  3. “Please take a shower.”
  4. “I know you asked for it iced, but you’re already frigid as hell.”
  5. “You asked for tea, so I spit in this cup a few times and stirred it around with my thumb—which has been up my butt—because that’s basically the same thing as Earl Gray.”
  6. “Just take your pumpkin spice, clogs, and white feminism and leave.”
  7. “Mudslide latte. Speaking of which, for the love of god flush after you’re done with the bathroom. And eat a damn banana every once and a while.”

APPLICATION EXTENDED: Apply to Write for The Thrill!

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We extended our application deadline! Look at that! Do you want to write for your favorite Kenyon blog but couldn’t make the February 19th deadline because you just bought the Sims 2 for the first time and need to make sure that all of your Sims get college scholarships? We get it, and we want to help you out.
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