Help! My Dad Has Made the Same Groundhog Day Joke Every Day For Three Months

To all of you living at home right now, this one’s for you. I understand what many of you are going through. Returning to live with your parents after thriving in K-Town, USA would be quite the change to make, even if there wasn’t a global case of the uglies going down as we speak. The days of online school start blurring together, and if your family is also working from home, it may seem that all of you are doing the same song and dance day in and day out.

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New Musical: The Cup Song

I know, I know, everybody is sad about packing up and leaving for a bit of an extended break. But I would not worry so hard if I were you… Kenyon is brewing up something new for you, just as a little cherry on top of a perfect, flawless semester. A brand-new, fresh-from-the-presses musical that was written and rehearsed in complete secret to keep it as much of a giant surprise as possible. And have you heard? I’m sure you heard, right? About the cups and stuff? How could you have missed it?

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WE CALLED IT: Halloween Costume Contest 2020 RESULTS!!!

Now that that OTHER contest everyone was focused on this week has finally been called, we can proudly announce the results of our annual costume contest!

Congrats to all of our contestants. You kept the spirit alive. You may not request a recount.

CONTESTANTS (in no particular order):

Ava Gruskoff ’23 and Sam Hafetz ’23: Courtney Barnett and Kurt Vile on the cover of collaborative album Lota Sea Lice

Griffin Crump ’24: Plague Doctor

Donny Long ’23: The Dude from Big Lebowski

Dannie Lane ’22: Soybean STALK-er

Sklyer Lesser-Roy ’22: Cam Jensen, child detective

Margaux Harrington ’24 and Kit Ross ’24: Robin Sparkles and Robin Daggers

Caleb Newman, Ruby Rosenfeld, Yana Honcharuk, Lauren Childs, Maddie Friday, and Jack McClellan, all ’24: The Scooby Gang, with The Mystery Machine (Caleb), Velma (Ruby), Daphne (Yana), Fred (Lauren), Shaggy (Maddie), and Scooby Doo (Jack)

AND THE WINNER IS….

CAM JANSEN, CHILD DETECTIVE!

Our winner will recieve a whopping $25 gift card to the Kenyon Bookstore, reedemable in person or online! Congratulations!!!

And finally, a costumes from our Editorial Staff, who were ineligible for the contest but still wanted to show off their looks.

Ellie Melick ’21 and Alum: Jeff Winger and Britta Perry as Ricky Nightshade, Rock ‘n Roll Magician, and Female Assistant

The Monday Catchup 11/09/20

Wow! So election week was pretty crazy, huh? The whole experience was honestly very on-brand for 2020. It dragged on for far too long, emotions somehow managed to run high while also instilling that deep-seated numbness and feeling of dread that we’ve come to know so well, and there were a shit ton of MAPS. So many maps. And while I could talk about how HISTORIC and GROUND BREAKING this election was, I’m going to talk to you all about my new appreciation for maps, and more particularly, map guys, and even more particularly, Steve Kornacki.

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The Monday Catchup 11/2/20

Halloween 2020 is in the books! Woo! I hope you all stayed safe while being spooky!!! Did you??? Did you stay safe??? Let’s not forget there’s a full-ass pandemic going on!!! Because it seems like a lot of people out there had some sort of mental lapse and thought it was okay to party with lots of friends just because a fun holiday rolled around. Now that’s scary, and NOT scary in a good way. Scary in a bad way. Don’t do that. Stop.

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