Look At This COW

Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

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Cows are everywhere. Here are some bot suggestions for our favorite cows.

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Romaine Calm! (Kenyon vs. the Romaine Lettuce Epidemic)

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You may or may not have heard about the recent romaine lettuce epidemic. The CDC has publicly stated multiple times that we do our best NOT to consume the Big Leaves until further notice. But what are the reasons behind this proclamation? What has happened to our lettuce? Who is destroying the sanctity of these vibrant emerald staples of American society? All this and more in my BIG LETTUCE CONSPIRACY THEORY INVESTIGATION.

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Apply to Be a SRPA Supporter

As Sexual Respect Peer Alliance (SRPA) Supporters, we are committed to providing unbiased and unwavering support for those impacted by sexual misconduct by being their trusted peers. Our position as fellow students on this campus allows us to actively initiate and engage in conversations about sexual respect in order to promote a greater culture of consent, awareness, and support, three things that are critical to college campuses. As part of our training, we are familiar with the Title IX process and the student resources that Kenyon offers. Additionally, all SRPA Supporters actively engage in our own training throughout the year so that we can constantly improve the ways in which we communicate, support, and empower.

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Sorting Famous Literary Figures into Kenyon Frats

hemingway the dke

Kenyon is a literary as shit school and we love that here. Kenyon loves books, and the people who did books. Authors, you know? And poets and such. And there’s got to be a way to categorize all of these bad boys, and since no one really wants to think about, say, which Romantics match up with which First Year dorms (Coleridge would live in Gund, don’t @ me) we’re going to do frats, so buckle in.

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Enter The Thrill’s Halloween Costume Contest!

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I dressed up as the ghost of pretty Kenyon

Regardless of where you stand on the pre/post Halloweekend celebration debate, we hope you all swallowed your pride and donned your most creative costumes for Peeps’ Halloween this past Saturday. We also hope that in addition to the blurry iPhone selfies you took with an acquaintance in the Old K basement bathroom mirror, you took some pictures of your sweet ass costume! Whether it be sexy, silly, confusing, or absolutely drenched in irony, we want to see your masterpiece. Continue reading

Things to Know to VOTE TOMORROW.

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image credit: Cosmopolitan

Hey. Look. Y’all knew this was coming. Tomorrow is Election Day. It’s important, and you’re gonna do this. I’m not arguing with you. I don’t care if both parties suck, I don’t care if you think it doesn’t really change anything, and I don’t care if you think that voting is a means of diverting the political and mental resources of the proletariat into dead-end politics instead of a worker’s revolution. I. DON’T. CARE. It’s voting time, and if you’re not doing it you’re AN ASSHOLE!

So. Here’s how to do it. You can early vote today if you so wish, from 8am to 2pm. The KAT shuttle will stop at the bookstore and Peirce, and bring you to Mount Vernon’s town square, very close to the Board of Elections.

On Election Day tomorrow, there will also be voting at the Gambier Community Center (where the Rummage Sale is!), and a shuttle will be running there all day from the bookstore. There will also be a March to the Polls at 11:10am in front of Peirce, where Kenyon students will march in droves to the Community Center to vote.

Here are the candidates on the ballot. You’re gonna need a valid ID (driver’s license, you know), the last four digits of your Social Security number, and proof of address (which was emailed to y’all. Just look up “Your Voter ID” and it’ll show up in your inbox).

Do it! Go VOTE.