American Psycho Morning Routine

With all the talk about how Christian Bale might actually be hot, I realized that the time is now to capitalize on this opportunity. The good news is Christian Bale already dropped his skin care routine in the indie darling 2000 film American Psycho. Bale plays hard-working young professional Patrick Bateman, just trying to navigate his way through the hectic world of investment banking. I took the transcript of Christian Bale’s American Psycho skin care routine and tried it out this week. Follow along if you want to get great skin and to dissociate from the nightmare of modern life!

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How to Make Up with Your Parents After Forgetting to Call Them this Pi Day

Uh, oh. What’s that? You didn’t call your parents yesterday? Like, on March 14? Yikes, yikes, yikes. Sure Mom got over it when you didn’t call on her 50th, but not checking in with the fam on the most important mathematically inspired holiday of the year–that’s serious. After all, Pi Day is a sacred time of geometry, joy and, perhaps most importantly, togetherness. 

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The Secret Life of Flutes

The Fool Himself

Many of you may see a flute and think: “look at this small weak instrument that is played by fourth-graders and bearded Irishmen” but I am here to tell you it is no such thing. It is small, and played by both elementary school students and James Galway, but it is not weak. In fact, the flute may be the most dangerous instrument of all time.

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COVID Test Speedrun, Positive% Category

Shoutout to the devs at Everlywell

Do you ever feel self-conscious about your walking speed? Like, if your destination was really that important to your life, you’d be moving a bit faster? I mean, why stop there? If your life is so important, why aren’t you doing everything more quickly, more efficiently? Hi, I’m Micah Kim, known on the COVID test speedrunning forums as NostrilPlug1, and today I’ll be channeling that existential fear into an optimization of the Everlywell self-applied COVID test.

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