Spooky poetry inspired by the market sandwich

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alamy stock photo

Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

Peers, friends, lovers. How does one even begin to broach the subject of the market sandwich? How does one even look one in the eye and dare to love? I am at a loss, at a standstill. Where do I start? At the lettuce? The bread? The Thousand Island dressing? I must confess I’ve never felt this way about anything before. A love like this is a burden. It haunts me, consumes me, fills me with something dark and urgent, and, Reader, I am afraid.

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Where to Find a Stephen

WHERE'S STEPHEN

Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

 

So this one was really tough to figure out, but, I was tasked with figuring out where to find a Stephen. Did I succeed? Watch the video below to find out:

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Look At This COW

Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

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nice

Cows are everywhere. Here are some bot suggestions for our favorite cows.

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A Wild Ride: Domino’s Driver Turned Uber for A Night

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The Domino’s man looked lonely.

The night of PEEPs Halloween, I made my way out of Old Kenyon and through the crowd of smoke and people into the mostly empty parking lot beside the building. I was still a little bit disoriented, my ears were ringing and my glasses were still fogged a bit, and in my efforts to try and find the direction of Middle Path from the back of Old K, I saw the glow of the Domino’s sign on top of a delivery car. I went up to the pizza guy, and I made sure that he wasn’t white. If he was, I would’ve completely abandoned this idea, but he wasn’t, so I soldiered on.

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Cursed Things I Saw Over Break

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During my stay at Kenyon over fall break, I saw… things. Terrifying things. Unimaginable things. Barely describable horrors, plaguing the campus, crawling to the surface once most of the College’s affluent students were tucked away safely in their New York City beds. Dare you peek into this Pandora’s Box of Kenyon horrors? You have been warned… what you see might SHOCK you… join me, as I reveal some of the cursed events I witnessed over break.

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10 o’clock list: Awkward Conversations We’ll Be Having During Thanksgiving Dinner

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Thanksgiving is easily the most delicious and complicated holiday. It is a time for family, weird extended family and perhaps some odd stragglers to come together, air out their dirty laundry and express gratitude. Now, this break comes at a crucial time as it is ever so necessary to get off this construction site we call a college and return to our homes and some rough family dynamics we were eager to escape.

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