The Thrill Editors Confess Their Most Regrettable Purchases

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via flickr

Okay. So, it’s the end of the semester and I’m pretty sure we’re all going through it. There are so many papers, exams, and projects that sometimes all you want to do is make an unneeded Market run or impulse buy whatever type of alien mask is at the top of your Amazon wishlist. While we at the Thrill aren’t always the biggest fans of capitalism, we can 100% relate to using our meager Kenyon wages to buy things that were 100% unnecessary. Below are some such examples of Thrill editors proving that we are all just dumb babies who should not be trusted with real money.

  • The ramen noodles that gave me second degree burns
  • I bought an E.T. mask online and I don’t regret it but I guess it could be considered “regrettable”

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Kenyon Pets: Colin the Betta Fish

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Colin is a red and purple lil’ betta dude that I purchased at Mount Vernon’s own “We lov pets” as a consolation when my mother strongly advised against me buying a rabbit on Craigslist. She also shot down my idea to adopt a cat or even just steal Moxie off the streets. Among the many shelves of tiny cups of fishies, Colin immediately spoke to me with his shiny fins and feisty attitude. I got him a tank, gravel, a weird boot to hide in, and a fake plant. What can I say? I like to spoil my son. Since bringing this beast home with me, I’ve discovered that he’s a total freak.

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Thrill Forced to Confess Their Acceptable Birds

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Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

For today’s bot article, we at the Thrill confess to you the shameful, the secret, the unspeakable that is our acceptable birds. We hope you enjoy.

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Where to Find a Stephen

WHERE'S STEPHEN

Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

 

So this one was really tough to figure out, but, I was tasked with figuring out where to find a Stephen. Did I succeed? Watch the video below to find out:

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Look At This COW

Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

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nice

Cows are everywhere. Here are some bot suggestions for our favorite cows.

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Romaine Calm! (Kenyon vs. the Romaine Lettuce Epidemic)

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You may or may not have heard about the recent romaine lettuce epidemic. The CDC has publicly stated multiple times that we do our best NOT to consume the Big Leaves until further notice. But what are the reasons behind this proclamation? What has happened to our lettuce? Who is destroying the sanctity of these vibrant emerald staples of American society? All this and more in my BIG LETTUCE CONSPIRACY THEORY INVESTIGATION.

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