The Thrill Rates Energy Drinks

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Hello, my fellow caffeine fiends! The end of the year has finally arrived and I can see many late nights and early mornings in our collective future. Personally, I’m a big fan of brightly colored energy drinks for getting through the insane amounts of work that we all have. My high school friends and I have been compiling a list of the best and worst energy drinks since we were first years, and it is now time to publish what we have learned. Here, to aid your indecisiveness and desire for the best of the best, are our well-researched ratings of energy and coffee drinks available at Kenyon. And while you’re at the Market, why not buy some ramen and wine (lists coming later this week!) to go along with your caffeinated poison? Continue reading

Ideas I Gave My Roommate for Her Stop-Motion Animation Projects

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Spoiler Alert: She didn’t take any of them! Not out of lack of love or trust, but just because they fell short of her vision, artistically speaking. Stop-motion animation is, perhaps, one of the most difficult artistic crafts in the movie and art-making game, which is why I am so utterly impressed that some of my fellow compatriots are making fantastic feature short films from what we know as the cradle of civilization, Gambier, OH. How these studio art kids find artistic (divine?) inspiration in this tiny town is frankly beyond me. So of course, I gotta take some type of crack at it! God, this might be for a pretty niche audience but I think it’s working. Continue reading

First Year Expectations: Sendoff

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You’ve been pounding water all day. You have a plan of how to get from your 11:10 class to the real action fast. You finished your work so you could start drinking early afternoon, at the latest. You’re probably going to not remember 7:30 on because you’re still a dumb freshman. That’s right: it’s Sendoff time. We asked our lowly little first years what they expected from Sendoff, and here they are for your viewing pleasure.

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10 o’clock list: Jokes I Will Never Stop Telling

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Hello everyone it is I, the Repeats Their Jokes Goblin! And boy oh boy, what a nightmare of a semester this has been. Winter lasted until late April, the campus is being torn up all around us, NightWorld chaos has erupted within our very library, the things we anticipated the most have been disastrous looks into our dark selves, and of course we are on the precipice of Sendoff. That’s right, we are staring headlong into the biggest party weekend of the semester, featuring three refugees from an alien dystopia in identical white turtlenecks playing computer noise at us before a hard cut into Kenyon’s premiere sadboi indie pop group, and of course, a party literally named for containing wild animals. Continue reading

We Stayed in the Library for Three Hours Past Closing and Here’s What Happened

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There’s absolutely nothing more fun than being somewhere you’re not supposed to be. I mean it, absolutely nothing: theme parks—overrated; getting whacked out on that sweet devil’s lettuce—doesn’t compare; playing catch in the front yard with your dad, and even though you’ve never really had the best hand-eye coordination and you didn’t realize you needed glasses until the eighth grade, he’s still trying his absolute best, because you’re his son and he loves you so much—not even close to how good it feels to loiter in a space that someone doesn’t want you to be in. Continue reading

Moderate Slang for Mod Growing Pangs

 

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There are the beauts.

 

Hello, it is I, the Modular Unit Goblin! And another week at Kenyon means another week of putting up with whatever absolute bullshit the administration is trying to tell us is good for Kenyon. But today I won’t be talking about that problem, I’ll be talking about our beloved library replacements, and their very fast delivery onto Ransom Lawn.

We know that these modular buildings will quickly integrate into Kenyon’s culture. So we here at The Thrill have come up with some modular unit slang we think will come out of these new buildings. And boy, I know I sure can’t wait to try out all these new phrases!

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