A Fond Farewell

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Wow, it truly is the end of an era. Whether that era was good or bad is not for us to judge, but for you, the reader, to judge. But please don’t tell us, we hate judgment. Either way, the reign of Nate and Elise is drawing to a close.

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A Final Paper Written by a Bot

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a robot, an intellectual powerhouse, the next generation of scholar

I fed a bot papers about

  • the childhood of the Buddha (my capstone)
  • the Finnish Great Depression
  • an anthropological analysis of how first-year college students do laundry
  • uh, psychology
  • Claudia Rankine
  • Othello
  • David Foster Wallace and Cormac McCarthy
  • Irish beer, literally

and just mashed around until something came out. Below is a five-paragraph essay written by a bot (and me)

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10 o’clock List: Reasons you should (please) hire me to be your intern

Look, I’m not stupid. I just feel like I am only getting dumber with every passing day. I don’t know if it’s the ultimately crushing feeling I get when a possible employer asks me why I didn’t study marketing, or if it’s my inability to just sit down and write a paper like I used to– but it’s something.

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It Happened to All of Us: Echosmith Was Here

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This past weekend was Kenyon’s annual Summer Sendoff, and as everyone knows, this year it was headlined by Echosmith, the pop band from our collective unconscious past (probably 2013? The year after the world was supposed to end, yes?) I was there for literally all of Echosmith, and here’s what I (and everyone who joined me on this journey) experienced.

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A Kenyon Klothes Swap Vol. V

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Welcome to WWE (stands for Kenyon Klothes Swap) featuring Tyler “Ron “Big Body” Matthews”  Raso and Ellie “Caitlin “Rock Lobster” Martin” Melick. Fortunately we are lovers, not fighters, so instead of competing we gave each other makeovers.

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The fuck is a market dog?

Greetings, ladies, gents, and those who do not fall within the suffocating constraints of the gender binary. Let me get straight to the point. I seek to answer an age-old question plaguing many a Kenyon student: what the fuck is a market dog? This coveted commodity, supposedly more than just a hot dog, is sold for 75 cents apiece at the Village Market. However, these things of legend are but a mere fraction of the great body of Kenyon lore. But they are a mere fraction no more. On Tuesday, April 9, myself and some of my idiot friends set out to answer this question for ourselves.

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