A Final Paper Written by a Bot

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a robot, an intellectual powerhouse, the next generation of scholar

I fed a bot papers about

  • the childhood of the Buddha (my capstone)
  • the Finnish Great Depression
  • an anthropological analysis of how first-year college students do laundry
  • uh, psychology
  • Claudia Rankine
  • Othello
  • David Foster Wallace and Cormac McCarthy
  • Irish beer, literally

and just mashed around until something came out. Below is a five-paragraph essay written by a bot (and me)

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New and Improved Roommate Pairing Questionnaire

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credit: Apple, their Apple Pencil (2nd Generation), a pencil, made of ghosts (probably), this is how they actually marketed it

 

Dear The Office of Residential Life,

It has been several years since my last confession. Though I work for you, I feel as if I could do more to work with you. I am a simple person with simple skills. I can ask politely for things I am paying for. I can put an unlimited amount of raw Sriracha in my tiny, tiny mouth. I can peel an orange in one seamless ribbon but usually I can’t. This is my effort to bring my passion for putting people into broad categories (ie. astrology, MBTI, sorting-hat) to you, The Office formally known as Residential Life. Below are what I believe to be some questions which which truly bring insight to the Roommate Pairing Process. You can reach me at wordpress.com, or at your local Post Office.

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A Kenyon Klothes Swap Vol. V

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Welcome to WWE (stands for Kenyon Klothes Swap) featuring Tyler “Ron “Big Body” Matthews”  Raso and Ellie “Caitlin “Rock Lobster” Martin” Melick. Fortunately we are lovers, not fighters, so instead of competing we gave each other makeovers.

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Peirce Hacks: Face Masks

IMG_7995We, Jane Lindstrom and Ellie Melick, are many things. But most of all, we are beauty influencers. We’re  always on the hunt for the Next Big Serum to fix our acne* and our lives. Did we find what we were looking for in Pierce? Keep reading, and decide for yourself.

*Jane wants to point out that she doesn’t get acne but SOME of us do, okay?

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Pacifist Fry Pie Wrestling

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they want blood

I must confess. I am a simple man. I like blood, guts, and flaky crust. I know what America wants to see. America wants to see senseless violence, intersecting storylines, and pie. I said to the Thrill Editors, I said “I know what the people want” and they said “what do the people want?” and I said, you know what I said, I said “they want to see FryPie. Wrestling.” A voice broke the silence, “What’s a fry pie?”

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