Jocks and theatre kids. Comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges; There are actually a lot of similarities and that idiom has never made sense.Continue reading
Shoes. They’re everywhere these days. If you’re newly arrived, you may have noticed the same ones popping up over and over again. Everyone at this school looks the same.
I’ll be your guide.
I fed a bot papers about
- the childhood of the Buddha (my capstone)
- the Finnish Great Depression
- an anthropological analysis of how first-year college students do laundry
- uh, psychology
- Claudia Rankine
- David Foster Wallace and Cormac McCarthy
- Irish beer, literally
and just mashed around until something came out. Below is a five-paragraph essay written by a bot (and me)
Dear The Office of Residential Life,
It has been several years since my last confession. Though I work for you, I feel as if I could do more to work with you. I am a simple person with simple skills. I can ask politely for things I am paying for. I can put an unlimited amount of raw Sriracha in my tiny, tiny mouth. I can peel an orange in one seamless ribbon but usually I can’t. This is my effort to bring my passion for putting people into broad categories (ie. astrology, MBTI, sorting-hat) to you, The Office formally known as Residential Life. Below are what I believe to be some questions which which truly bring insight to the Roommate Pairing Process. You can reach me at wordpress.com, or at your local Post Office.
Welcome to WWE (stands for Kenyon Klothes Swap) featuring Tyler “Ron “Big Body” Matthews” Raso and Ellie “Caitlin “Rock Lobster” Martin” Melick. Fortunately we are lovers, not fighters, so instead of competing we gave each other makeovers.
The first principle of sustainable wilderness exploration put forth by the Leave No Trace Center for Outdoor Ethics is “Plan Ahead and Prepare.” I find this rule applies not only on backcountry camping trips but also when dealing with everyday problems such as how to discreetly dispose of a corpse. Continue reading
We, Jane Lindstrom and Ellie Melick, are many things. But most of all, we are beauty influencers. We’re always on the hunt for the Next Big Serum to fix our acne* and our lives. Did we find what we were looking for in Pierce? Keep reading, and decide for yourself.
*Jane wants to point out that she doesn’t get acne but SOME of us do, okay?