I Drank Out of Bowls For Three Days and Sorry I’m Enlightened Now (But Not Really)

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photo cred: Mollie Greenberg, who would like to say “I think you could associate me with liquids”

Look around you. The world is two big bowls pressed together with a cranberry vinaigrette salad in the middle. Your head is a bowl for the squishy computer we call the brain. Your hands are just flexi-bowls. Eyes? Bowls. Your heart is a bowl for the slippery blood which breaths emotion and heartburn into you. Bowls, even, are fashion (see below).

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We Tried to Contact Philander Chase’s Ghost to Find Out How Disappointed He Is In Us

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When Philander Chase first descended upon this hill and envisioned the academic community of Kenyon College, it was a quiet, reserved space, nearly monastic, where students could quietly and studiously spend years of their lives pondering questions without interruption. A lot has changed since 1824, not least among which is that Kenyon is—well, it would have been to ol’ Phil—big. The small, quiet community of Kenyon has become a land of endless construction and expansion. I feel like this really gets Chase’s goat, and so I spent some time this Halloweekend trying to pierce the ghostly void, reach his spirit, and find out how disappointed he is in us.

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SHOW US YOUR HALLOWEEN COSTUMES AND WIN BIG

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Walt Disney Pictures

Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn and caldron bubble. Tis’ that time of year where shit gets spooky and Kenyon’s ghosts come out to play. In turn, us Kenyon kids do green jello shots, pee on Mather and of course, dress like some character from a Quentin Tarantino movie. But, no matter if you dressed like Beatrix Kiddo, Mia Wallace, a sexy cat, a hotdog or some meme related something, we want to see it. So, enter the Thrill’s costume contest and show us the best you got! Continue reading

Dungeons and Dragons: Kenyon Edition

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Lord Graham Gund of Castle Kenyon sits atop his sacred Hill, glass in one hand, 2020 plan in the other. Tonight, he’s hosting a gala inside the Kenyon Athletic Center, his ballroom and playpen. A week ago, a single crow tapped upon your window, a crisp envelope caught in its beak. The bird presented you with an invitation to Lord Gund’s weekend extravaganza. Are you brave enough to attend? Grab your polyhedral dice and start rolling to find out…

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10 o’ clock List: Unsolicited advice from your mother, or unsolicited advice you give your mother?

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Parents weekend is truly a time. A moment in time. A collection of moments in time which we call collectively a weekend. What a nice invention that humans made. They made the week and then they said, heck, we have this dangling clump of time like a juicy juicy Golden Delicious and we gotta do something with it, heck, or else nothing will be done with it. Someone said we can call it the end! And everyone agreed that was a terrible idea. But because the guy who suggested that was just so very pathetic everyone decided to squish the week and the end together and call it a weekendWhat should we do with it? a voice rose from the crowd. In a peal of genius, somebody responded nothing. A wave of spearmint feeling fell over the universe.

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Kenyon and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Bathroom Experiences

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photo credit: Kenyon Jank

Here at Kenyon, we all have bodies and all bodies need bathrooms. There are a lot of bathrooms on campus, some of which are nice and some of which are very scary. Most Kenyon students have a mental list of the bathrooms they like most and prioritize the patronage of those. However, even in the safest bathrooms, you can experience something that can chill you to the bone. These are their stories. 

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[Student-Info] Sims Construction Update – Phase 2 Initiated

 

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Kenyon Student #1 fleeing from the police

 

Attention all Kenyon College students, faculty, and simulated critters: the Kenyon 2020 Plan is now shifting from Phase 1 into Phase 2. Read on to see the first images of the new Kenyon library. Also, please be aware of recent mod glitches––we’ve recently noticed modular units popping up on Peirce lawn, which definitely isn’t part of the plan, right?  Continue reading