Thanksgiving Dishes to Cook in an Easy-Bake Oven While Quarantining from Your Family After Getting Home from Kenyon

I, for one, think it’s brave how colleges and universities around the country decided to drop-kick hundreds of thousands of virus-hoarding students back to their vulnerable parents immediately before a major family holiday and smack at the start of the fall surge experts have been warning us about since April.

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How to Host Senior Soiree from Quarantine

For the class of 2021, the anticipated tradition of Senior Soiree is just another Senior Sorry :/ .

Normally the weekend before Thanksgiving break would be reserved for a flashy seniors-only Peirce formal. Underclassmen would be banished to their quads. Fairy lights would glow through the New Side windows, lighting up the Eastern horizon like a reverse sunrise. The school would buy us alcohol. 

Alas, this year is not normal, and frankly the idea of being packed in an enclosed room with hundreds of drunk maskless college students makes me want to claw my throat out. 

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Do It Today: VOTE

WHAT: Your civic duty!

WHERE: Your local polling place. For those on campus, it’s the Gambier Community Center, 115 Meadow Lane (behind the KAC). More info for Kenyon students can be found here.

WHEN: GO GET IN LINE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

WHY: Literally nothing else you do today could possibly be more important, not that paper, not that workout, not that dick appointment, nothing. If you see a child choking on the street, pick it up and do the Heimlich maneuver on your way to the polls because nothing. else. is more. urgent. VOTE!!!!

Now, More Than Ever, We Must Get Fucked Up on Halloween

It has been a difficult year.

Consider all that has happened. Actually, don’t, it’s upsetting. Remember the impeachment? Yeesh. Remember Kobe? FUCK. Let’s not talk about it.

We still have two months left of 2020, most of which will surely be spent dealing with the fallout of the 2020 election (you’re kidding yourself if you think that hellrodeo will be settled on Tuesday night). And we still have to get through almost half of a semester that is probably––and I’m going out on a limb here–– not our best ever with Kenyon College. 

So what can we hold onto, at this moment when the world threatens to fly off of its hinges?

Halloween.

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