10 o’ clock List: Unsolicited advice from your mother, or unsolicited advice you give your mother?

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Parents weekend is truly a time. A moment in time. A collection of moments in time which we call collectively a weekend. What a nice invention that humans made. They made the week and then they said, heck, we have this dangling clump of time like a juicy juicy Golden Delicious and we gotta do something with it, heck, or else nothing will be done with it. Someone said we can call it the end! And everyone agreed that was a terrible idea. But because the guy who suggested that was just so very pathetic everyone decided to squish the week and the end together and call it a weekendWhat should we do with it? a voice rose from the crowd. In a peal of genius, somebody responded nothing. A wave of spearmint feeling fell over the universe.

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Kenyon and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Bathroom Experiences

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photo credit: Kenyon Jank

Here at Kenyon, we all have bodies and all bodies need bathrooms. There are a lot of bathrooms on campus, some of which are nice and some of which are very scary. Most Kenyon students have a mental list of the bathrooms they like most and prioritize the patronage of those. However, even in the safest bathrooms, you can experience something that can chill you to the bone. These are their stories. 

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[Student-Info] Sims Construction Update – Phase 2 Initiated

 

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Kenyon Student #1 fleeing from the police

 

Attention all Kenyon College students, faculty, and simulated critters: the Kenyon 2020 Plan is now shifting from Phase 1 into Phase 2. Read on to see the first images of the new Kenyon library. Also, please be aware of recent mod glitches––we’ve recently noticed modular units popping up on Peirce lawn, which definitely isn’t part of the plan, right?  Continue reading

Simulated Kenyon: The New Library, Part I

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Even though we’ve seen the Kenyon 2020 Plans online, on fences, and in our dreams, many still wonder exactly what the new library should and will look like. Because I will have graduated and received a restraining order from Kenyon by the time the library is completed, I decided to answer these questions by creating the new Kenyon library in the most realistic computer game known to man: the Sims 2. I’ve spoken to a lot of Kenyon simulation truthers, and we can all agree that life at Kenyon is sometimes so odd that we must live in either a corrupted cartoon universe or a simulation created by Graham Gund. Therefore, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that a “strategic life simulation video game” from 2004 is the best way to predict our future. Also, the Thrill already has a surprising amount of Sims content for an blog about Kenyon College, so you signed up for this!

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What’s New In Peirce?

What’s New In Peirce?

Welcome back all you baby birds to the sweet nest of Kenyon College. You got a chance to spread your wings and soar over break, and those drafty winds probably blew you towards all different sorts of culinary experiences. You went to good restaurants. Your parents cooked the meatballs you love so much, with the secret ingredient (paprika probably.) But now here we are, our wings tired from all that flapping, and we’re back in the sweet embrace of Mama Bird Peirce, which will chew up her meals and spit them into our dumb, gaping mouths just like she always has. Continue reading