[Student-Info] Sims Construction Update – Phase 2 Initiated

 

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Kenyon Student #1 fleeing from the police

 

Attention all Kenyon College students, faculty, and simulated critters: the Kenyon 2020 Plan is now shifting from Phase 1 into Phase 2. Read on to see the first images of the new Kenyon library. Also, please be aware of recent mod glitches––we’ve recently noticed modular units popping up on Peirce lawn, which definitely isn’t part of the plan, right?  Continue reading

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Simulated Kenyon: The New Library, Part I

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Even though we’ve seen the Kenyon 2020 Plans online, on fences, and in our dreams, many still wonder exactly what the new library should and will look like. Because I will have graduated and received a restraining order from Kenyon by the time the library is completed, I decided to answer these questions by creating the new Kenyon library in the most realistic computer game known to man: the Sims 2. I’ve spoken to a lot of Kenyon simulation truthers, and we can all agree that life at Kenyon is sometimes so odd that we must live in either a corrupted cartoon universe or a simulation created by Graham Gund. Therefore, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that a “strategic life simulation video game” from 2004 is the best way to predict our future. Also, the Thrill already has a surprising amount of Sims content for an blog about Kenyon College, so you signed up for this!

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What’s New In Peirce?

What’s New In Peirce?

Welcome back all you baby birds to the sweet nest of Kenyon College. You got a chance to spread your wings and soar over break, and those drafty winds probably blew you towards all different sorts of culinary experiences. You went to good restaurants. Your parents cooked the meatballs you love so much, with the secret ingredient (paprika probably.) But now here we are, our wings tired from all that flapping, and we’re back in the sweet embrace of Mama Bird Peirce, which will chew up her meals and spit them into our dumb, gaping mouths just like she always has. Continue reading

10 O’ Clock List: Number of Times I Farted at A Cappella Rehearsal the Other Day

10 O’ Clock List: Number of Times I Farted at A Cappella Rehearsal the Other Day

It’s a Sunday and I downed some whipped cream. Straight from the nozzle like an animal. Like somebody who knows exactly what sin is. This is good and clean and fun but I’m lactose-intolerant and that sweet sweet heavy cream gives me some sleepy, sloppy farts—some creepy, crappy farts. It’s like Dr. Seuss said: “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes,” and, well, I got gas in my caboose Mr. Seuss and she’s ripping loose like stinky one-liners during amateur hour at the comedy club. You heard that thunder on Sunday? Nope. That was my rear end belting and swan-songing like the prima donna’s understudy.

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