10 o’clock list: Ways to Lower Your Grade and Get Attention This Fall

It’s October break. You’ve just coasted through your first month at Kenyon with good grades and you’re ready to go home. When you finally get there you see your dog or your cat or whatever, and you see your brother or sister whatever, but something’s missing… Your parents are gone! You did so well in college that they have no notes for you. They have no reason to talk to you. Damnit! Here’s a 10 o’clock list of ideas that’ll help you turn it around and tank your first semester so your parents will definitely talk to you over Thanksgiving break…

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Stuff You Got Rid of When You Realized it Wasn’t Kenyon Aesthetic Enough

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Honest to God it’s a Texas tradition to give everyone you know a monogrammed gift when you graduate high school. So when I rolled up to Kenyon for the first time it’s accurate to say that I had never seen a pair of clogs before or been in a room with more than five liberals at a time. Continue reading

10 o’clock list: Ways To Continue Crane Worship Off-campus

It’s that time of the year again. Most of us are leaving campus. Leaving campus means many things, saying farewell to professors, friends, but most importantly it means leaving the sight of the two great deities of campus. Whatever we are doing once we leave there will be many distractions and things which we are tempted to use to fill the whole of the cranes in our hearts. But take heart friends, there are ways to mitigate the heartache and to show the cranes that wherever you are you are thinking of them

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A Final Paper Written by a Bot

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a robot, an intellectual powerhouse, the next generation of scholar

I fed a bot papers about

  • the childhood of the Buddha (my capstone)
  • the Finnish Great Depression
  • an anthropological analysis of how first-year college students do laundry
  • uh, psychology
  • Claudia Rankine
  • Othello
  • David Foster Wallace and Cormac McCarthy
  • Irish beer, literally

and just mashed around until something came out. Below is a five-paragraph essay written by a bot (and me)

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