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An Interview with Local Asian Beetle Celebrity

Perched atop the cracking windows of Leonard Hall, the Asian beetle’s little mouth curls in a bashful smile. It’s four o’clock: rush hour for the Asian beetles, who are piling in the corners of the warm room, falling on top of each other in confusion. She has arrived late for the interview, leaving me hopelessly scanning the top of my

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It Happened To Me: Two People Told Me To Watch Riverdale

The first time I experienced true sexual attraction was in April of 2009, when Dylan and Cole Sprouse teamed up with Dannon to launch a Danimals Crush-Cups sweepstakes. The deal was, if you made a video promoting Crush-Cups, submitted it, and won, you would win 10,000 dollars and get to hang in Hollywood with America’s most successfully pubescent twins. One

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Freshmen drops Intro Bio after confusing words organism and orgasm

Over the past week, the Registrar has processed a flood of mulligans (withdraw lates) as students receive their failing midterm exams and papers. While some sophomores and juniors dropped orgo and said goodbye to all hopes and dreams of ever going pre-med, English majors mulliganed their Intro Econ classes after finally realizing success was impossible without basic multiplication and division. But amidst

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