Dear Kenyon, Give Me Back My Belongings or I’ll Create Another A Capella Group

It’s September 12th, approximately 6 months since I left Kenyon and four weeks since I’ve stepped outside. Since then I’ve done many things, including investing all my savings into a mobile app and binge-reading the entire twilight series. I’ve taken three weeks of online classes without watching a single lecture, and I’ve even fallen in love with someone who is definitely not a video game character. The one thing I haven’t done is receive any of my belongings from my college. Not even the goldfish that is, unless by some miracle, very much dead. Dear Kenyon, I’ve asked nicely. Now I’m threatening you with the promise of 10 unaccompanied vocalists that will haunt the hill until eternity or Kenyon closes after a Covid outbreak (most likely the second one). 

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