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A Formal Apology (We’re Super Serious About This We Promise)

March 21, 2017

So it’s come to my attention via this post that was posted at 4 p.m. today. Apparently freshmen are human beings who have feelings, and are very okay with publicly saying they were wronged. Who would have thought? Anyway, we’re sorry that we tied you up with rusty chains and made you sleep on a mattress in the middle of the Kokosing.

To be fair, I know you’re worried about getting Tetanus, if you’re up to date on your immunizations that shouldn’t be an issue. See folks, there’s an unlimited number of reasons to vaccinate your children.

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It Happened to Me: I Rushed the Thrill, was Hazed, and Suffered Irreparable Physical and Emotional Damage

March 21, 2017
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It was the start of the second semester of my first year at Kenyon, and like many first years, I felt that my life on campus needed to embellished. Many of my peers turned to Kenyon’s Greek community, but I didn’t think that was the right choice for me, primarily because of my general fear of men. But in the week after Rush Week, I saw an announcement encouraging me to rush the Thrill.

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BIG NEWS: We Got Yelled At

March 21, 2017


You may remember that we had a week of initiation events called “Rush the Thrill” in which we hosted bonding events like Hard-Boiled Egg meet and greet, and a Groundhog Day celebration in the graveyard. Well, turns out that when Graham Gund was here a few weeks ago he wasn’t too pleased that we dug a hole in the graveyard and made a bunch of freshman lay in it. I guess it didn’t have enough natural light and didn’t go with the architecture of the Squad. Honestly that’s our bad.

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The Monday Catchup

March 20, 2017

Here I am writing this post right now. Nice to see you again!!!

What can I say about Spring Break 2017 that hasn’t already be said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone – this is a gift to us all. Yet, just as the  wheel, penicillin, and the iPhone have changed, so too has Spring Break 2017. How so? Well, it’s over. Extinct. Gone. Spent. For all 14 days of break, I blissfully ignored the reminder on my phone to pay a lock out fee. I had my March Madness bracket tattooed on my back (Sorry mom. Let’s go Duke. Ball out.). I took several nice baths each preceded by a healthy bowel movement! I celebrated another day not receiving jury duty summons.

I’m back on campus now.

In an attempt to overcome the crippling sadness of coming back, I socialized with you people. Here’s how spring break went.

“Don’t do wine enemas. Not over spring break. Not any time.”

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Look at this Dog

March 20, 2017

Hey there! Look at this dog is doing a fun new thing, where from now on, we’re going to try to feature dogs from the Knox County Animal Shelter. All photos are courtesy of a student volunteer. If you would like to volunteer or adopt a furry friend, you can look at their website

Senior Year: Spring Breakers

March 3, 2017


Spring breaaaak. It’s senior year and it’s the mother******* dream y’all. You got comps and two weeks in the town of Gambier and it’s time to bring in your last spring break Harmony Korine style!

You start your trip to another planet in your last class on Friday. You’re in an intro class your last semester because you totally live on the edge, and you sit in the back with your laptop open as you let the underclassmen battle to the death to argue the exact same answer to a question your professor asked. You roll your eyes and look over to your senior housemate and she is holding up paper saying “COMPS” with a drawing of a pencil on it. You get a little jitter in your stomach. This is real life y’all, this is the senior EXERCISE you’ve got eleven pages finished and you’ve still got sixty-nine to go! Class ends and you go up to your senior friend. You each give a nod. Spring Break has begun.

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Celebrating Unsung Heroes Week at Kenyon

March 3, 2017


This week Kenyon College celebrates “Unsung Heroes Week” a week in dedication to showing our gratitude to those employees that often go unnoticed or uncredited for their hard work every day here at Kenyon. This week, The Thrill will be posting quotes and pictures from employees of Campus Safety, AVI, and Maintenance to give them some of the recognition they deserve. Thank you for all you do.