10 o’clock list: Reasons Why I Am the Ultimate Kenyon Boyfriend

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As of today, we’re officially T-minus five days from Peirce spending two-thirds of their budget on intensely mediocre surf and turf, or, as some may call it, Valentine’s Day. For those not lucky enough to be chosen for one of The Thrill’s always successful Peirce Dates, we’ve got you covered. Need a date to Pep Band Formal? A reason to skip Pep Band Formal? Well then read on, and learn why I’m ready to offer myself up as the perfect Kenyon Boyfriend.

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Weekend Drink: Long Island Iced Tea to Help You Forget… The Simulation

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Photo Courtesy of Long Island Medium

There is a glitch in the matrix. We go to a boarding school in a fake New England village oasis in the Midwest. Each year after the seniors graduate, they are replaced by freshman doppelgängers. There is no justice. There is no commencement speaker for the Class of 2020. Yet still, we go through the motions, day in and day out, hoping that maybe one day, Moxie culture will die and a Peirce Date will bring us eternal love. That’s why this weekend, The Thrill is prescribing the antidote to all your woes, a temporary escape from The Simulation.

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