Skipping class because it is too cold is not an option! Winter is upon us and this is a walking campus, so it’s time to get creative and seek out new sources of warmth for that long walk down middle path.
As a first-year, I am merely an outside observer of the concept of “Kenyon Married”. I am the accidental child brought into an adult-only romantic dinner at the quirkiest all-inclusive resort of all time. Except instead of a resort, I am referring to our fine liberal arts institution.
I got here a little over a month ago, so it is understandable and expected for me to not be “Kenyon Married”, or even “Kenyon Engaged”. I would argue that this perspective puts me in a prime position to make unbiased suggestions about other people’s relationships.
Or maybe I’m just the strangest combination of a Hopeless Romantic and Jaded Writer Who Likes Making Fun of Things on the Internet to ever grace this site.
Dada would not exist without World War I, Punk without the Cold War, and Justin Bieber without the Housing Bubble. The creative, socially aware, bored young adults that make up the Kenyon College student body often take to musical collectives to express themselves. Today, Kenyon students live and learn amidst the turmoil of the 2020 Plan. Here are some band names inspired by the upheaval:
Emphasis on the cool.
I haven’t seen any of the movies I have reviewed, but I am psychic so these are definitely accurate. The rating metrics should be self-explanatory and if they aren’t, go read a book.
Perhaps the most belabored phrase I’ve heard as a Kenyon student is “Writing is rewriting.” Normally this irks me, because it’s true. Because it’s true, that means more work. Womp womp. There is, however, one exception to this phrase — titles. Titles tell your reader everything and nothing at the same time. Slap that bow of a title on top of that gift of a thesis and put it under the tree. A bad title can be sad, but a rose by any other name would smell jjjuuuust as sweet. Despite this, some titles must go. I dug through the annals of Kenyon College Senior Thesis past and found these title rejects. We can only imagine what they prefaced.
Here’s the thing everyone: sometimes I’m a real dumbass. Like, in terms of Book Smarts and being a Learned Young Man, no, I’m not dumb in that regard. In fact I like to think I’m pretty smart, if it’s all the same. But just in life? Real dullard, every now and then. And the danger about being a fool out there in the world is… well, danger, which I seem to find myself in more times than my parents would be comfortable with, probably. So, that being said, here’s some of the times I nearly died on this campus because I was being stupid: