10 o’clock list: Bot Prompts We Couldn’t Do

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Image credit: “How Computers Misunderstand the World” The Verge

Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

It’s been a weird week here at the Thrill. Always on some cutting edge, this week we’ve decided to delve headfirst into the Future™ that AI and machine learning have for us. One day, I’m assured by professors, targeted ads on Instagram, and Google’s AlphaGo, machines will be so efficient at doing everything, they’ll even be able to think for me! Thank GOD. Just as predicted, they’ve thought of some Thrill ideas for this week, and let me tell you, I sure am nervous.

Here’s a few prompts the bot came up with that we wanted to write, but just couldn’t match the bot’s intelligence:

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10 o’clock list: Awkward Conversations We’ll Be Having During Thanksgiving Dinner

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Thanksgiving is easily the most delicious and complicated holiday. It is a time for family, weird extended family and perhaps some odd stragglers to come together, air out their dirty laundry and express gratitude. Now, this break comes at a crucial time as it is ever so necessary to get off this construction site we call a college and return to our homes and some rough family dynamics we were eager to escape.

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10 o’clock list: Kenyon Turn-Ons

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Now we all bust a nut for guac in the servery or when a professor cancels class, those are your basic college student turn-ons; but what about those niche habits or occurrences that only happen here, within the insular, physically fragile walls of Kenyon College? So, because I know you were wondering, here’s a list of what really makes Kenyon kids kinky like nothing else:

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10 o’clock list: Uses for your liberal arts degree when no one will hire you

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Has it just hit you that you aren’t going to be the next Allison Janney? Have you just realized that all the people who care that you know what free indirect discourse is are all sitting in the same room? Are you graduating in less than a year with no idea what to do with yourself? Aren’t you glad your skill set is both narrow and UTTERLY INCOMPATIBLE WITH CAPITALISM? Well lucky ducky you, here are five uses for your liberal arts degree when no one will hire you:

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10 o’clock list: Activities That Could Potentially Be Second Base

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Some say it’s over-the-clothes heavy petting, others say it’s a little bit of hanky panky with the peepees and weenies, but the fact of the matter is that “second base” is an ambiguous intimate activity that no one is quite sure how to define. We all know first base is kissing, third base is sex, and fourth base ghosting, but here’s a few things second base might refer to:

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10 o’clock lists: Nine Conversation Starters for your Awkward Pregame Small Talk

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We’ve all been there, it’s a birthday party for a friend of a friend or hosted by a club you just joined. You get there thirty minutes late because you don’t want to be the first person there but when you arrive there are only four people in the room. The Franzia has just been opened and everybody is still profoundly sober. You know you can’t just stand by the door awkwardly, you have to make chit chat. Small talk. Exchange pleasantries. It’s a nightmare. But never fear, below are a few conversation starters to help you get through the night.

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10 o’clock list: Groups that will fight over the Great Wall on Campus

With the boarding up of Olin and Chalmers Library and a robust first-year class to boot, Kenyonites this year find themselves scrambling for coveted study spaces. Where are we to weep over esoteric theory readings? How will we disrupt our peers with our ill-timed and ill-placed procrastination chatter? Fret not, children, for though God Gund taketh, he also giveth us a hundred yards of free, fresh, plywood real estate. And thus the turf wars to end all turf wars was born! Who will conquer the campus’ great ass wall? Here are a few of our favorite picks:

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